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A Personality-types Primer

by Anna Wood
12/11/2008 / Family

When my oldest children were young, I came across a book by Florence Littauer on personality types. That book saved my sanity and my children's childhoods. My oldest child, Tristan, is a combination of choleric and sanguine. I thought that child was out to get me. I was absolutely convinced that he hated me because he pitched so many fits and cried so much. I couldn't figure out what I had done to cause it but I was absolutely certain that I had done something When I came to understand Tristan's motivation (taking over the world) then I could relate to him better. I learned that I had to stand strong against him. We still went head to head but now I understood why we did and I knew how to handle it. Because his personality is so strong and he's a natural born leader, I fully expect him to conquer new frontiers some day.

Understanding something about personality styles has helped me with my other children, too. For instance, Nicholas, my seven year old is a phlegmatic. When he was a baby, he would never get upset if he ever had to wait to nurse or be changed. And, in classic phlegmatic style, he's a natural born teacher. Since he was old enough to talk good, he has been "grilling us" about things. He'll ask us a question like "Why does it get dark at night?" and when we answer instead of saying, "oh" or "wow" or "thank you" he says, "That's right!" like he was teaching us and we had just pleased him so much by getting the answer right.

Knowing and understanding the personality types is not a cure-all. It won't solve all of your problems. Used correctly, it can help you to understand why people (including you) act as they do. Keep in mind, however, that these definitions are to be seen as a tool and a guideline, and not as something set in concrete. There are very few people who are a "pure" type; rather, we all tend to be a blend of personalities (I myself am 60 percent melancholy and 40 percent choleric--which is totally different from 60 percent choleric and 40 percent melancholy).

Choleric: the leader, bossy, uninhibited, impatient, bold and ambitious, extrovert. This is the take charge person, the natural born leader. Their motivation is being in control. They don't think deeply but they are the best at getting things done and done fastnot necessarily well. They will run over your toes if you allow them to. As children they try to take over the world: they succeed as adults. They are the achievers. Without them there would be no CEO's of corporations, new worlds would have never been conquered, the West wouldn't have been won and new businesses would rarely get off of the ground. We need these people. All great strides in history have been because of these visionaries.

Phlegmatic: shy, quiet, inhibited, patient, gentle, complacent, peacemaker, introvert. This person never tires of answering the same questions over and over, thus, they are natural born teachers. Since they are patience personified, they make great diplomats (nobody else could stand to do the job: cholerics would force everybody to do it their way; melancholies would get depressed that nobody was doing it the right way; and sanguines wouldn't care which way it was done as long as it was fun). Their motivation is peace at any price. They are steady and loyal friends. "As things have been so shall they be" tends to be their motto. Be careful or you will run over this person and they will be "nice" enough to let you.

Melancholy: easily depressed, artistic type, deep thinker, analytical, introvert. Most of the great musicians, actors, writers and painters throughout history were melancholies. They have both the desire and the ability to create or do something meaningful and beautiful. Their motivation is perfection. Being a perfectionist is both a blessing and a curse to them. Sometimes they spend so much time planning the perfect way to do something that they never get around to actually doing it. No one can measure up to their standards, least of all themselves.

Sanguine: jolly, friendly, shallow, imaginative, good salesman, extrovert. Do you need someone who makes you laugh? Who always looks at the bright side of things? A bubbly, happy person who understands that the glass is actually half-FULL not half-empty? That person is a sanguine. I love sanguines. These folks make me happywhen they aren't making me mad. They are so good at looking at the bright side of things that they frequently fail to be absolutely realistic about it. When problems come along then "plop" goes their head in the sand. But no one, absolutely no one, can bring as much sunshine into your life as this person can. I just love them (probably because I don't have a single ounce of this personality in me). Their motivation is fun.

Remember, no one personality is better than another. The Lord created each personality type for a reason and He chose the personality that He gave to you to uniquely suite you for the task that He has set before you.

Anna Wood is a Christian wife, mother of 9 children, homeschooler and writer. Her desire is to know, love, and obey God and bring Him glory and help others to do the same. Her website is called The Apples of Gold and is at http://theapplesofgold.com

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