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Hey! It's YOUR Life...Get Discovered!

by Louella Jamersons  
6/25/2008 / Relationships

Oftimes when looking for a mate the opinions of family, friends and sometimes peers weigh heavily on the decision to be made. If you haven't had an opportunity to check out the movie "Something New" starring Sanaa Lathan, I encourage you to rent it, purchase it or just watch it. I think it is a brilliant portrayal of the decisions many singles face today, particularly African American women.

Although, many do not do what Sanaa did in the end...make the decision for HER life and her future, thus missing out on a life of love and happiness. Multicultural relationships are on the rise today, and not because it is some novel idea or fad. On the contrary, it is because singles, especially African American women, are beginning to think for themselves and make decisions based on what is best for their own lives.

While, we love and appreciate the input of family and friends, ultimately the choice of who to enter into a lifelong relationship with depends on you. What is more important to you in a relationship an individual's skin color or the weight of their character and their level of integrity? That is the all important question Sanaa had to answer in "Something New", as she realized her happiness was in her hands and her hands alone. Fortunately, she made the right choice based on the person and not the person's skin color.

We need to get past the notion of marrying "outside" our race. The notion of dating or marrying outside of one's race is honestly a really asinine myth. There is only ONE race...the HUMAN race of which we all are a part. When will we get that? God made us all the same; He just put us in different color houses.

A number of statistics reflect that Black Women are five times likely to never marry than white women. Well over 40 percent of African American women have never been married and the more money they make or the more successful they are, the less likely they are to marry.
If they are to believe the statistical tabulations Black Women are in serious trouble.
I believe black women have more choices and more options that they need to avail themselves of and open their hearts and lives to accept. Statistics should not be allowed to predict their futures. Sadly, there are thousands of wonderful, loving, caring, intelligent Black women of all ages and backgrounds who have prepared themselves for the probability of living out their lives alone.
In my estimation, this is a huge mistake for so many Undiscovered Treasures to resign themselves to never being discovered simply based on the unavailability of only ONE segment of the entire male population.

We get into a whole other kind of thing for those Black women who are waiting for the 'right" Black man to enter their life. Wait! Wait!! Wait, before you react, I am in no way saying or implying that there is anything wrong with waiting for a Black man or desiring to be in a relationship with the right one. That is your decision and yours alone.
Now, I thought the goal of marriage was to find someone you want to be with, who wants to be with you, with whom you share life goals and interests and you just LIKE being with one another. If that is still the truth why should the individual's skin color matter?
I've read quite a few articles on the subject of black women "dating out", which refers to black women dating white men or outside of there race. What a crazy myth!
How can one date or marry outside of your race if there is only ONE race in the first place? I believe God fixed it that way for a purpose, probably because He really doesn't care who you marry when the color of their skin.

What you really want is someone you can trust and really feel good being with, someone who wants to be with you for you, and someone who has the kind of heart and spiritual character you will want to spend your life with.

In my book, Undiscovered Treasures; God's Take On Multicultural Relationships, you will discover what a wonderful Treasure YOU are and how God has an equally wonderful Treasure for you to discover or waiting to discover you. In reading the book you will see how easy it is to position your heart and life for His treasure that awaits you.
My challenge to you, my single brothers and sisters, especially African American Women, is to write your OWN script for your future! Don't let family, friends, peers, statistics or even yourself prevent you from having the love, the happiness and the future that you long for because of a man or woman's skin color. Ask God to help you position your heart and life to see, know and accept the man/woman who is waiting to discover all of the beauty and wonder that lies within you.
Go for the character and godly qualities within not the skin color without.
Aren't you tired of waiting?

Louella Jamerson is a member of Higher Dimensions Ministries in Flint, MI., is Resource & Referral-Media Director; Teacher/Trainer. Written articles for The Michigan Banner, JIA mag, Embracing The Rain E-mag, LIVE e-mag, WOW e-mag, Village Groit & more. Visit: www.myspace.com/undtreasures

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