Is It Wrong for Christians to Attend a 'Gay Wedding'? Free Reprint Article

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Is It Wrong for Christians to Attend a 'Gay Wedding'?

by Max Aplin
9/03/2024 / Relationships

Not so long ago a big controversy arose in evangelical circles, when the Scottish church leader Alistair Begg said that it wasn’t wrong for Christians to attend the ‘gay wedding’ of a relative or friend.

Begg was not claiming that God actually recognises such events as real weddings. Nor was he claiming that homosexual practice is not sinful. Rather, he reasoned that Christians need to love everyone, including unrepentant sinners, and that attending the ‘gay wedding’ of a relative or friend was a way of doing this.

A ‘gay wedding’ is a terrible thing

Before going any further, we need to take a moment to think through what God makes of so-called ‘gay weddings’.

When Paul is outlining the depth of human sinfulness in the early chapters of Romans, homosexual practice is one of the few things he gives more than a passing mention to (Rom 1:26-27). Similarly, 1 Corinthians tells us that those who engage in homosexual practice will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9-10), which means that they will end up in hell, not heaven, unless they repent and are saved. And in the book of Revelation we read of the sexually immoral, who should be understood to include practising homosexuals, being thrown into the lake of fire (Rev 21:8).

In God’s sight, then, homosexual practice is certainly an awful thing. But a so-called ‘gay wedding’ is an even higher level of evil. Not only do those who support such events condone immoral and unnatural behaviour, but they also dare to start trying to alter God’s pattern of marriage. In effect, they are attempting to tear up God’s blueprints for the marriage relationship and to make better ones to replace them. This is an extremely arrogant thing to do.

Actions often imply things

With the depravity of so-called ‘gay weddings’ in mind, we are now ready to ask if it is OK for Christians to attend them.

To begin with, we should be clear that it is absolutely right for us to seek to love relatives or friends who have a ‘gay wedding’. It is all too common to find Christians acting coldly and unlovingly towards people who are unrepentant of various sins, but this is wrong.

Nevertheless, real love manifests itself in different ways depending on the circumstances. And when people are doing something, like having a ‘gay wedding’, that is displeasing to God and also working strongly towards their own harm, if we do or say things that will help to reinforce the bad decision they have made, that is actually an unloving thing to do.

We need to understand that a ‘gay wedding’ has been organised as a celebration. But it is unthinkable that a Christian could go to one and celebrate what is going on. God is being insulted, and the right response for Christians is to mourn what is happening.

However, our actions often imply things about what we believe, and if we go to a ‘gay wedding’, everyone who sees us there will think that we are celebrating unless we make it clear that we aren’t.

If we don’t make this clear, then we will be playing a part in reinforcing the beliefs of those present that something worth celebrating is taking place. And that means that we would in effect be promoting evil.

Of course, if we were to go and make a visible protest against what is happening, there would obviously be no promotion of evil. However, I think at least usually that would be a very bad idea. Those involved would very probably just be annoyed rather than influenced for good.

The issue of honesty

There is also the issue of honesty to consider. At a ‘gay wedding’ there would surely be speeches commending the couple and expressing support for their decision to have a homosexual union. But how could we honestly clap after a speech of this sort? And when someone raises a glass to toast the couple, again with implied support for what they are doing, how could we raise our own glass with a clear conscience?

Without making a visible protest, which would very probably be a mistake as I have said, it seems impossible to be honest and also go to a celebration if we are mourning. And if two men or two women are planning to have a ‘gay wedding’, we should be mourning deeply.

Joining a neo-Nazi group

Let’s think for a moment about an event that is similar to a ‘gay wedding’.

Suppose you have a relative or friend who is formally joining a neo-Nazi group, a genuine neo-Nazi group that goes as far as wanting the murder of Jews.

Suppose too that a celebration has been organised by this group to mark the occasion. People are going to be wearing suits and dresses, there is going to be champagne and speeches, etc.

Would you really go along to this event, when someone you love is being initiated into a group that supports murder? Would you clap after the speeches that praise the murder of Jews? Would you raise your glass to toast the new neo-Nazi member?

I think the vast majority of Christians wouldn’t do this. More than that, I think they would be horrified at the thought of doing so. They would rightly see that neo-Nazi ideology is a terrible thing and that a celebration admitting a new member to this evil group is something that they just couldn’t be part of.

But in terms of the evil involved, is there really much of a difference between this and a ‘gay wedding’? I suppose we could argue that because neo-Nazis support murder, it is worse than a ‘gay wedding’. But even so, this difference is just a matter of degree, and I think a ‘gay wedding’ would come a close second anyway. It is a massive insult to God.

A poor understanding of how evil a ‘gay wedding’ is

I suspect that the real reason many Christians would choose to go to a ‘gay wedding’ is because they simply don’t understand how evil it is. I think many modern Christians have been unconsciously influenced by the values of mainstream Western culture in this respect.

I would suggest too that the reason why many Christians don’t recognise the evil involved is because they have a human-centred, and not God-centred, worldview. A ‘gay wedding’ doesn’t seem to hurt anyone, so they think it can’t be that bad.

However, the whole starting point for this kind of thinking is wrong. We shouldn’t start by asking whether something hurts other people but whether it hurts God. God is at the centre of the universe. Human beings are not.

Summing up

We should have no hesitation in saying, then, that it is a mistake for Christians to attend a so-called ‘gay wedding’. If we were to go without making it clear that we are deeply opposed to what is going on, our actions could only serve to reinforce the people involved in their bad choices. In any case, it seems very dishonest to give an appearance of supporting a celebration when we oppose it. And it just makes no sense for someone to go to a celebration of something they are in fact mourning.

If we refuse to go to a ‘gay wedding’, there is certainly a place for explaining to others why we can’t be a part of the celebration. And there is also a place for us to affirm our love for the men or women involved. Alistair Begg is quite right about the need to love family members or friends who are doing this.

But if we are putting God first and if we want to do what is right for the people involved, we should steer clear of any celebration connected to this evil act.