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Questions to Ask Hospice

by Tonja Taylor
1/08/2024 / Christian Living

When Mom went on Hospice, I was glad for the help, and learned the hard way about benefits I'd not been told about at the beginning. Ask lots of questions before you engage Hospice, and even after your loved one is signed up for these services, to make sure that you're told about all the benefits and rights.

Ask these questions to help you get the most out of this end-of-life experience for your loved one:

(1) Where is the handbook/folder, with all the forms needed, including the DNR (Do Not Resuscitate, which means if your loved one dies, the EMTs and nurses and other medical personnel are not required to do CPR or any other means to try to bring the loved one back to life.

I should have realized it, but I did not even know there was a handbook/folder, when my husband and I moved in to help Mom be able to stay in the house that she and Dad built over 50 years ago, to work to keep her out of a nursing home.

It was almost three months before I was alerted by a nurse that a folder even existed. Things were quite challenging in the natural, with us moving into the place, having to be up at various hours of the night, serving as guinea pig nurses, etc.

(2) What is the schedule for the nurses, aides, social worker, and chaplain? My mother started out with an aide three times a week, then needed an aide five times per week. She didn't like the chaplain, who was a loud, large man who intimiated her (but there was no other), and LORD knows she needs the spiritual help (someone besides me, for she has not received well from me through the years, unfortunately).

Mom, a widow for over 6 1/2 years feels much more comfortable with the others, who are all women. They are somewhat of a spiritual beacon to her, and I believe they are true Believers in Christ, and pray for her. They love on her warmly.

(3) What about respite--and the details of it? Not every Hospice organization has a facility dedicated to taking in patients for 3-5 days, so that the caretakers (read: me and my husband, or whomever is mostly taking care of the patient). I was told, after I expressed being overwhelmed with unexpected challenges (not to mention all the pressures of Christmas in the natural), that I could take one, and that it would all be paid for by Mom's insurance; that Mom would be monitored carefully 24/7.

I was greatly relieved to hear this, because I am not a nurse, never wanted to be a nurse, and never will be. I admire them, but the closest I can get to that is praying healing for others (Mom tolerated that, but is so heavily dependent on docs and meds for decades, that she was just hoping and humoring us, somewhat, we discovered. Bless her heart....).

So, I happily requested that Mom be taken to a respite facility (read: a nursing home in the area that would have an empty bed the first week of January, before my classes resumed (I teach core subjects to small groups in public schools across the nation.). A few days later, I walk in to the living room, to see the social worker, who instantly tells me in front of Mom that she refuses to go to a facility for respite, so I'm outta luck. Mom herself (and she did not remember this later; she's had lots of craziness, from hallucinations, to forgetfulness, to burst of anger, and only so much of it can be stopped by binding the devil in Jesus' name! The rest is flesh!) told me there was no way she was going to a facilty.

However, we all agreed (and a nurse was present too), that I needed a respite and should take one. However, of course, it would be at my expense.

Gee, thanks! I expressed politely my disappointment and displeasure at not being told the full truth about all this at the beginning, and requested that they "retrain" whomever is responsible for relaying this information to share it up front, to prevent confusion, frustration, and potentially bad reviews.

The social worker passionately expressed that they would "make sure" Mom was covered, one way or another, while I was gone for 3 days and nights, around the already-scheduled paid aides, who worked 3 hours/day, for just 3 days a week.

She was somewhat covered, and my husband of course had to work many hours all week, and could not be there, although he gave up his church and worship practice nights to come straight home for her.

Here again is where I was reminded that, we forgive, we release, we bless, when others disappoint us, and ultimately we trust God. It is Him, really, Who is the 24/7 caretaker--including of you and me and all people, when we sleep, and when we wake (Psalm 115:12-14; Psalm 91)!

14 “Because he loves Me, I will deliver him; because he knows My name, I will protect him. 15 When he calls out to Me, I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.”--Psalm 91:14-16, Berean Standard Bible

So, if your loved one is in transition time to Heaven, and the doctors can do nothing more (and especially if they do not believe the Word of God, and are unchurched, like Mom has been for decades), ask the LORD to lead you to the right Hospice. There are many benefits, and the people overall are warm and compassionate, and skilled. Hospice is a good organization; one of the benefits of living in the USA.

The LORD will be faithful to guide you as you trust in Him, every day. He is good, forever, and cares for your loved one even more than you do!

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints. --Psalm 116:15, Berean Standard Bible

Through books, courses, presentations, service, prayer, worship, and more, Tonja and her husband live to exalt God. Her series for girls, P.O.W.E.R. GIRL ADVENTURES, is now out (books I-V), along with LEGACY; YOUR HOLY HEALTH: VISIONS OF THE KING, and more. See the "River Rain Creative" YT channel.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

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