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Domestic Violence and the Christian Community's Response

by Noelle Sewell
10/25/2007 / Relationships

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Just what is domestic violence?

It is any coercive behavior that is used by one adult on another (usually but not in all cases) in an intimate relationship. Abuse consists of one and/or a combination of any of the following types, 1) physical (beating), 2) verbal (threats), 3) sexual (rape), economic (taking their money) 4) psychological (mind games).

Because of the recent incident involving Juanita Bynum and her husband Bishop Thomas Weeks, members of the Christian Community have been discussing this issue more than ever before. There are questions that I believe we need to be asking. If you work with or lead a women's ministry how could you not know that this is an issue that affects a lot of women? Why did it take this incident to recognize that this issue needs to be addressed? Is it that there is too much pressure on Christian leadership to present themselves as perfect? Is it that many of us in the Christian community suffer from "spiritual tunnel vision"?

The truth is that there are people in the Christian community who have been addressing this issue for years. One of the problems that many of those in the Christian community is that the leadership either did not feel that it was a topic worth discussing with the congregation and/or that it was a women's issue that could be solved by prayer alone. How it is addressed is so important. If one of your members comes to you stating that they have been physically assaulted and they fear for their life, do you tell them to pray about it and go back home? If this has been your response you may have sent that person back to a very dangerous situation. If the person feels that they should leave, it should be their choice. Your response should not be determined by who the alleged perpetrator is and/or how it will affect the amount of tithes and/or offerings you receive.

The Christian community needs to be educated on this issue. There are two national organizations that I can recommend to anyone seeking more information on this issue. The Black Church and Domestic Violence Institute (www.bcdvi.org) have been addressing the issue since 1998. They are located in Atlanta, Georgia. Isn't that ironic?
The other is the Faith Trust Institute (www.faithtrustinstitute.org) has been addressing sexual and domestic violence since 1977. Both of these organizations offer trainings, consultations and resource materials. There are organizations in your area that may also address the issue from a faith-based perspective. I would also encourage you to talk to those who presently in your congregations about their experience with domestic violence and what type of response they received from the Christian community.

Domestic Violence is a public health/safety issue because of the lack of shelter space that is available; the number of injuries and death that result are astronomical. Which in turn makes it an economical issue because of the cost of providing emergency medical care. Victims often have difficulty maintaining employment, which means that, could possibly have to rely on public assistance. This also has an effect on their ability to get and maintain stable and affordable housing. They are often denied the opportunity of purchasing life insurance. Because domestic violence often affects more that one family member it becomes a community/social issue.

There has been a lot of discussion on whether Ms. Bynum can call herself the "face of domestic violence." I believe that she can be an advocate for victims but I don't believe she can represent every person who has experienced domestic violence. Every person's experience is different.

I want to briefly share my experience with domestic violence. I was very fortunate that I had the support of some members of my netcare group at my church to help me deal with the situation. I was able to borrow money to move after I tried going to a shelter and no slots were available. The members of the group did not pressure me to "spill my guts" to them. They were loving and very caring. I also had the support of my parents especially my father who would talk with me on the phone and encourage me to take better care of myself emotionally. He knew that I was in a very toxic relationship, but he wanted me to realize that for myself. He would often tell me, "You have not been yourself for years, and I want you to come back to yourself." He also sensed that I was depressed to a point that I may do something to my ex that I might regret. Especially since I have lost my daughter (she was stillborn), he knew that I would do anything to remove that pain whether it was right or wrong. I know that because of my parents and the members of my netcare I was able to leave before things got worse.

Besides domestic violence being a public health, economic and social issue it is a spiritual issue. This issue is crippling many in the Christian Community because we are afraid of being embarrassed and/or judged. You have houses, cars, mega churches, planes and popularity, but if there is something that is "jacked up" in your spirit, it will manifest itself in the natural and when it happens we will have no other choice but to address it.

When the issue of domestic violence is discussed, there is always someone who brings up the topic of submission. In Colossians 3:18 and Ephesians 5:22 it states that wives should submit to their husbands. It also states in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands should love their wives like Christ loved the church. I could not find any scripture in the bible that supported being abusive towards a spouse. In other words, "Submit does not equal Hit."

Noelle Ewanda Sewell has been working with people with HIV for 27 years. She started in 1980 when she volunteered at St. Matthews Social Services Center (now it is known as the Gay Man's Crisis Center) in lower Manhattan. In 1981, she attended Temple University's School of Dental Hygiene. She worked with Dr. Michael Glick at Temple University' High Risk Dental Clinic. The clinic provided dental services to people with infectious diseases. This is where she gained experience in recognizing the oral manifestations of HIV (it was called GRID {Gay Related Immune Disease} at that time). She went on to become the training coordinator for the National Dental Hygiene Association (NDHA), Eastern Regional Chapter, where she was responsible for developing and organizing training for NDHA members on issues of HIV and dental treatment. During this time she also become the Director of Minority Outreach for the Hyacinth Foundation where she supervised 25 volunteer educators who provided AIDS education to the minority community (specifically black churches, prisons {Bucks County, PA and Mercer County, NJ} and military installations. She also provided educational updates four times a year for the volunteer staff.

In 1987, she became an advisor to Spirituality for Wellness Support group. The group addresses the spiritual needs of people living with HIV. It is one of the oldest HIV/AIDS support groups for African-Americans in the country.

In 1991, Noelle became a HIV Counseling and Testing Trainer through the Center on AIDS and Substance Abuse, Falls Church, VA, where she was responsible for assisting substance abuse treatment programs in setting up HIV Counseling and Testing sites in Maryland (eastern shore), District of Columbia and Northern Virginia.

In 1999, Noelle became the Coordinator for Restoration Urban Ministries, Inc. The ministry was founded in 1997 to address the response of the church to community and social problems. In January 2007, she became President and CEO of the ministry. She is also the Founder and Executive Director of Faith & Knowledge in Action, Inc., which assists small churches, ministries and non-profit organization with information/resource sharing and publicity. She has had articles published in MI/Productions.com, st8up.co.uk, wtamm.com and Npowermagazine.com monthly e-newsletters.

Noelle was the co-chair for the Philadelphia Host Committee for NAPWA's "Staying Alive Rising Above" Conference, which was held in Philadelphia in August 2003. She has served on the planning committee for the Annual African/Haitian Health Fair in Philadelphia since 2004. She also served as co-chair for the Special Events Committee as a part of the Host Committee for the US Conference on AIDS, which was held in Philadelphia in October 2004.

Noelle is a member of WORLD (Women Organized to respond to Life-threatening Diseases), National Association of People living with HIV/AIDS (NAPWA), Global Health Action, Global AIDS Alliance, Bucks County NAACP, International AIDS Society andTrans-Africa Forum. Noelle has participated in medical missions trips to Africa, the Caribbean and the South Pacific. She also does presentations on issues such as domestic violence, substance abuse, HIV and mental illness from a social and biblical perspective.

Noelle is a 1978 graduate of P.S. du Pont High School in Wilmington, Delaware. She has an AA degree in Dental Hygiene and a BS degree in Health Education from Temple University. She is a member of the Counseling Ministry at New Covenant Church in Philadelphia. She currently works as a Case Manager for an AIDS Service Organization in Philadelphia.

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