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VIOLENCE IS ON THE INCREASE

by willetta pilcher  
9/25/2007 / Parenting

According to a recent newscast, violence is on the increase... and the reason... guns in the ever increasing younger generation. And they are surprised?

It blows my mind to think how ignorant the "world" is until I remember that Jesus said, Mat 6:22-23 "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!"

Have you ever stumbled around in the dark of night? I mean without any light? That is how men and women without Jesus look at life. They can't see their hand in front of them.

It is no surprise to me that violence is on the increase. (And guns aren't the problem. It is the people who carry them!) Everything from advertising to cartoons is violent these days. Even the "funniest" episodes of Funny Animals and People center around someone getting hit in the crotch or taking a hard fall. At least that gets the biggest crowd reaction.

Children are allowed to bicker, argue, scream, throw fits, aggravate each other, and smart off to their parents. Why? They are being taught on a daily basis that that is the way you handle life. A lady gets mad because her washer doesn't take out the stains so she throws it out the window. Children smart off to their parents in sitcoms. Guns and violence abound in almost every story. Programs like Little House on the Prairie and Opie Taylor are considered stupid and uninteresting.

Children do not come with a set of values or morals instilled in them. They come into this world screaming and crying in protest. They demand to be fed and attended to on their schedule and at their will. Yes, they are babies and that is to be expected. But may I ask this, "At what age are they supposed to leave the baby stage and grow up?"

It is up to us as parents and grandparents to instill within them a sense of right and wrong. That starts, as far as I'm concerned, at birth. No, I don't mean that you start spanking at birth. Heaven forbid! But it does mean that you allow your child to learn approval and disapproval by your voice tones. There comes a time when your baby needs to cry himself/herself to sleep. They are fed, dry and sleepy. And they are not sick. Yet they cry in protest at being put to bed. Let them cry. It will teach them to know that their little wills are not in charge. You are. You are the parent. They are the child.

It is very appropriate to say a firm "No" to your baby when they start to turn and wiggle while getting a diaper change. There is no need to follow your baby all over the basinet while trying to get them to lay still long enough to be changed. Yes, they will probably cry at being told a firm "No" which may need to be repeated several times. The scripture has a verse about that. Pro 19:18 "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." Children learn quickly to "turn on the tears" because it gets them what they want.

The word chasten does not mean just whip the daylights out of them. That accomplishes nothing! Simply because that behavior is done in anger and your child knows you are angry. They understand that you are just venting your feelings on them and so they see no wrong in doing it to others.

The Hebrew word interpreted as chasten means to teach, correct, instruct, reprove and if necessary punish. However, your attitude while you are doing those things needs to be one of self-control. A child's name needs to be spoken firmly to get their attention. Then with a soft voice and yet firm, that says, "I love you too much to allow you to behave that way,"you begin to teach, correct, and instruct.

Children learn by example! The manner in which you relate to your mate and to them interprets life to them. And do not hold a grudge against them. After correction go back to normal!

If your home life is chaotic they will consider that a "normal" way of relating to others. In turn they will carry that over into their homes and it will be multiplied as those children grow and begin homes of their own. Perhaps your home was that way. If so, remember, somebody has to begin to make a change. Let it be you! Set the example!

Now I know, it is everyone else that needs to change, right? No, the old blame game is as old as the garden of Eden. But just as God didn't let anyone get away with blaming the other so we cannot either. God disciplined each one and made each one responsible for his own behavior. Even though Eve and Adam were not the ones doing the tempting, they had to be responsible for their own acceptance of the temptation. God holds each of us responsible.

There is an old saying, "Two wrongs doth not a right make." How true. Just because someone else doesn't act appropriately, we do not have the right to act or react in like manner. We need to set the stage by our response.

It is also helpful to teach our children apart from the event that triggers their discipline. Bedtime is a great time to choose a particular Bible story to read that illustrates what you want to teach. For instance... if it is obedience, 1 Samuel 15:1-24 is a great story to read. Do read it out of the Living New Testament or an easy translation for children to understand. Then discuss the story with them.

If you do not know where to look, check out the back of your Bible for some helps or at least look up the word that describes the behavior you want to change or encourage. That should lead you to a story or a verse that will help you get your point across. Teaching before the fact is always wise!

Then pray with your children. Ask the Lord Jesus to help them understand and to obey His word.

Willetta has spent most of her life ministering to people. In her late seventies, and a wheelchair now her mode of travel, she now ministers to people through the internet. Her webs are...
www.teachmethyways.org
www.successwithkids.org
www.theseedsower.org

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