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WHAT IS NORMAL?

by willetta pilcher  
8/19/2007 / Parenting

Have you ever asked yourself, "What is normal?" I have many times. But more importantly, "What do our children think is normal?" The answer frightens me but the reality of it scares me to death!

Some would argue that "normal" is relative (not permanently fixed, but having a meaning or value that can only be established in relation to something else and will change according to circumstances or context). Others would promote their personal ideas and opinions concerning life as "normal." Psychologists and psychiatrists would certainly declare that by their educated understanding of human nature they are able to affix a designation to a particular lifestyle as "normal."

The definition of "normal" according to the Microsoft Encarta 2006 dictionary is...
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"conforming to the usual standard, type, or custom." Usual is described as the "customary way of things ." So if I put those definitions to work for me I must assume that what is going on in the world around me is "normal" especially if I'm looking through the eyes of a child.

As a mature adult (I'm 73 yrs old) I remember what I thought of as being "normal" during my childhood. That remembrance was of a man and woman getting married which formed a new family unit. The man worked to support his wife. Children were born into the family unit. Mom stayed home and kept house and supervised the kids. Dad worked to support his family. Divorce was rare. The kids helped, without pay, with whatever task the parents assigned. Lawn care, gardening, housekeeping, dishes, cooking, and car care were inevitably on the list and if one lived on the farm the list was considerably longer.

Discipline (often in the form of a good scolding and/or a sound spanking) was quickly dispensed when disobedience became a factor. Respect was expected and demanded. One understood that to be a respectable citizen you had to learn responsibility for your own actions and obedience and respect were two of those responsibilities.

The church played a major role in family life. No school or sports activities were scheduled on Sundays, prayer meeting night or holidays. The ten commandments were taught and practiced. Sunday school was considered a necessity especially for children.

Entertainment consisted primarily of impromptu baseball/football games, races, fairs, picnics, bicycling, sidewalk skating, and back porch visiting. The later was a big teaching facility as the kids listened to the adult conversation. It was there that they learned much about attitudes, values, and morals. Parents often read to their children during those evening hours after work was finished. Movies were considered questionable entertainment.

The contrast between those years and now is vast. As some people say, "It is a different age." So what do our children consider "normal?"

A family is now considered (by the media and the world at large) any number of people living in a household regardless of gender. Marriage is not considered a permanent institution but, in many cases, only a revolving door into the next relationship. Divorce is prevalent. Adultery and fornication of every sort is promoted through advertisement, sitcoms, soaps, magazines, television, and the Internet. Concerned parents scramble to find ways to protect their children from the onslaught of filth pumped into their homes by a media that presents their view of normal.
Adults who have a significant influence on the lives of children show their disregard for morality as they shack up with one another. Age is no consideration. Grandparents are as guilty as the younger generation.

Unemployment is rampant and not always because jobs are unavailable. Many, just plan lazy men and women, lounge around on the porch, in bars, and recreational sites drawing unemployment or taking aid from social services. The excuse is often, "I ain't workin' for no minimum wage." A strong work ethic is sadly missing from our society. Our children seem to feel that they shouldn't have to do anything they do not want to do and if they do a small task around the house they should be compensated for their labor regardless of how shabbily the work is done.

Discipline is considered outdated, cruel and abusive. Schools simply suspend students for a few days that are out-of-control or considered a nuisance. Consequently they can go home and do as they please or with a few minor restrictions, yet pass from grade to grade regardless of how often the suspension occurs. Almost any form of discipline is considered abuse and therefore parents fear to administer anything but very mild control, grounding in its many forms being the favorite and most of the time loosely supervised. Consequently, respect for authority of any nature is almost non-existent.

Probably the most authoritative figure in a child's life is the sports coach. He/she is allowed to yell at the kids and bark orders. They decide whether a child should rest during the day in preparation of a big game or whether he/she should be allowed to swim or preform light work. The parents wishes aren't even considered. Family life is interrupted at all hours (early morning, dinner hour, and late at night) because one of the children (or several in big families) has a game or practice. There is no consideration for holidays, family outings, and/or church activities. Sports is the all-important occurrence.

The church takes a bottom-line priority. Sports, work, and any other desired activity takes precedent over spiritual education. Many of our children know nothing of Sunday school (many churches have stopped the practice) and/or youth meetings. The friendly-seeker church now provides several services on Sunday morning only, so people are free to engage in any other activity that might please them and yet be able to attend a service so their conscience is clear. They have done their spiritual duty for the week.

Entertainment via the Movies, TV and Internet is violent and morally decadent filled with self indulgent promotions and crime of every description. Too little policing is done by unconcerned parents who either take part in the entertainment without a clue as to what is really being learned or it is used as a baby-sitter to keep the kids out of their hair.

This scenario is what our children in this century think is "normal" life. Is it any wonder that society is like it is and our kids are where they are today with no concept of moral values?

The next question is obviously "who is to blame?" The church, the school, parents, grandparents, educators, the media? We ALL are to blame. We have allowed ourselves to become a hedonistic (self-indulgent pleasure seeking) society because it "feels good."

How did we get here? One compromise at a time!

So what is the answer? We must give ourselves to the task of allowing ourselves to be changed by the Spirit of God. We must go back to the only standard that stands the test of time, the Word of God which requires self-denial. We can only do that as we individually surrender ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus and take the responsibility and have the courage to stand up and be counted for righteousness. Just as satan has claimed the lives of the multitudes one life at a time so we must now claim it back and we do so one life at a time within our sphere of influence.

Intense prayer is called for in this battle against satan. Children must be taught in the home to respect parents and authority. They must be taught that they are personally responsible for their own life and the choices that they make. They must understand that for those convictions they may indeed be persecuted (made fun of, talked about, shunned and insulted). The scriptures must be taught and practiced in the home and recognized as the final authority for the standard of life. Our priorities and lifestyle must line up with the Bible. In order to do this we must each individually make the Word of God our priority so that we "know" what is required of us in our personal life.

There will no doubt be persecution because of our stand. But Jesus told us, "Mt 5:11-12 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3:1-17

2Ti 3:1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
2Ti 3:2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
2Ti 3:3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,
2Ti 3:4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God
2Ti 3:5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
2Ti 3:6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires,
2Ti 3:7 always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.
2Ti 3:8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truthmen of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected.
2Ti 3:9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.2Ti 3:10 You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance,
2Ti 3:11 persecutions, sufferingswhat kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them.
2Ti 3:12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
2Ti 3:13 while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.
2Ti 3:14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it,
2Ti 3:15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
2Ti 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
2Ti 3:17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Willetta has spent most of her life ministering to people. In her late seventies, and a wheelchair now her mode of travel, she now ministers to people through the internet. Her webs are...
www.teachmethyways.org
www.successwithkids.org
www.theseedsower.org

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