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Where my priorities once lay
by Janie Douglas
8/18/2007 / Testimonies
I've always been on the low end of the income bracket but one day I saw myself creeping up the "cooperate" ladder. The "cooperate" ladder for me was having a double digit income. I may not have had the title to go along with it but it felt pretty nice to be going up. Since moving up the cooperate ladder meant more money I didn't figure the title was as important, one out of two wasn't bad for somebody like me. Little did I know I would learn a grand lesson over this climb up. The climb was as excruciating as the lesson!
You know how the old saying goes, "The more you make the more you spend"; well I found some truth in that. I had gotten to a place where I could actually finance a car and I had extra cash in the bank. I was doing pretty well for myself. All of those hours that I had been working were finally paying off. See I may have been making a double digit salary but it wasn't because the hourly rate was great it was because I was putting in fifty, sixty and sometimes seventy plus hours a week. My children grew up, moved from home so I guess I worked even more. All of the time I assumed I had to work those long hours to pay my bills but after the lesson I found I could have avoided much of it.
I didn't have an extremely large amount of bills at the time so really there wasn't a lot of good reasoning for that many hours to be on my schedule. My car would be paid off in a short period of time and that would be one less bill but I paid that car off, bought another one the next month. I began to work my way up to a newer model each time I did so. But there was a problem; I began to feel a squeeze in my funds. I was paying my tithes and I hadn't gone over my head in my debt but I couldn't figure out what was wrong. This tightening kept up for quite some time I might add.
You see there was a problem but it would take a hard lesson for me to see what the root cause was. Finally it came to the point that I had to borrow money from my mother one week to pay bills, there definitely was something wrong with that! I had been praying and praying for understanding. I just couldn't understand how that I could be making so much money and have to borrow enough to pay bills with. At this point I needed the Lord to show me what was wrong no matter how bad it hurt. Let me tell you that didn't take long. I was shocked at what I saw.
One of my problems was; I liked to buy junk. And I liked to go to, yep, Wal-Mart. I enjoyed buying things from the junk stores and at yard sales as much as I did shopping at
Wal-mart. I bought enough at the junk stores and yard sales until my craft room looked like a mini junk store itself. I had plans; I was going to make all of these crafts to sell so I needed goods. Once I learnt how to take care of myself after the children were gone I learnt how to shop as well. It didn't take me long to get used to new clothes and shoes and I guess you get the picture by now. During these years of prosperity I had also been approached with a fantastic business opportunity; which I failed at participating in!
I had been approached with it many, many times but I failed each time to take part in it. Failing to participate in those opportunities is what brought a squeeze on my account! The business opportunity offered to me was from God. He had placed before me many opportunities to (sow) give into the kingdom but Then one day I had refused for the last time. He said it was time to explain to me exactly why I couldn't pay my bills while living on a "cooperate" budget. Oh, He was nice about it and all of that but it didn't make me feel too good. It hadn't been long before this that I'd had the opportunity to engage in a business offer but I turned it down. The excuse was the same as always; I didn't have the money.
So upon explaining this to me He gently told me to get out my check book. Once it was out He expressed to me to look in the logging portion of it. I really didn't want to do that but God has a way of reminding us of things we say. Things like, "No matter how bad it hurts". Well as I scrolled down the log I was sick. I had to count junk store and Wal-mart sales vs. gifts to the ministries; it wasn't pretty. I realized at that moment why I had no money. I was making it but some how, although I wasn't in the red, there was no money. I hadn't increased my spending but something wasn't right.
The Lord went on into details from there. It wasn't strange that I was broke although I wasn't in the red, nor because I wasn't spending more at that time, rather it was Him. He squeezed my finances because I wouldn't listen. So many times He had laid it on my heart to give but I always had an excuse as why not to. Giving to the ministries was far more important than things that I was indulging in but I kept indulging in the wrong business deals. Thus I learnt the importance of being a good steward, and being a wise businessman.
What was really odd was just before all of this came about I had actually started losing my desire for these things but I didn't get it. The convictions were there but I pushed them aside. I'd miss sales or there would be nothing good at the junk stores then money got tight so I was forced to start slacking off. I drifted away from the yard sales, then the junk stores and then I began to examine exactly what I shopping for at Wal-mart. I found myself at Wal-mart because of sales, because I was upset (binge spending) or because I had a few extra dollars and so on. So when I examined my purchases I found many things that I didn't even need. When I examined what all my craft room consisted of I could see how much money was invested into it, money that I could have put toward those God given business opportunities.
It took quite a long time to come back up but once I got my priorities in order I began to see a decline in certain purchases in my log book. Now instead of spending time and money on crafts I try to focus on how to use them both in the body of Christ. I found it takes having your priorities straight to get the most out of both your money and your time. It basically comes down to how bad you want to know the truth and how willing you are to stick to your convictions. As much as I love to do crafts I found I'd rather lay them down for as long as needed; I have so much more to learn. I've had that stone polished I think I'd like to move onto the next one. If I never have another craft room it will have been worth trading it in for the lesson and my destiny!!!! I now use my creative ideas for a much more meaningful business deal. You know the benefits that we reap from God's propositions are out of this world!
Today I have nothing left. Two years before this lesson I was led to give away all of my possessions then the loss of my job forced me to give up anything that I had remaining. I was left owning nothing but my Bibles, journals and my clothes. But you know something, today I feel I am further up the "cooperate" ladder than I have ever been. I have never felt as blessed as I do today! I'd rather be responsible for helping to heal a broken heart than to be good at making plaques to hang on the wall.
And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? ...
1 Samuel 15:22
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