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The Sixth Floor Waiting Room

by Jennifer Mobbs
11/08/2014 / Testimonies

It's sunny and cool outside, an occasional brisk wind lets me know its fall; but the sky is clear and blue not a single cloud in sight, it should be a beautiful day, but right now I am not so sure what this day has in store for me yet. I am standing in front of the hospital annex elevators looking at the signs for each floor of the building. All the way to the top is where I am going today, the sixth floor. I hesitate then push the arrow up and step inside the elevator, I am glad that I am by myself so I don't have to pretend or smile at anyone, at least not for a few more seconds. As I step out and turn to the right there are these huge double doors to the Doctor's Office waiting for me. These massive glass doors look like I am entering a mansion; this Doctor's office has the entire sixth floor of the building. I enter the office and sign-in at the front window and sit down. There are windows over looking the city all across the back of the waiting room, the smell of coffee and of course a TV is on some news channel. I seem to be taking in each detail of the waiting room as if I hadn't been here before. There are a few people waiting, but everyone is very quite, talking in low whispers. I can't take my eyes off the view, I don't want to look at anyone else, I don't want them to look at me, I am afraid they will see my weakness, the unknowing that I feel inside. I am afraid they will be able to look right through me. I can feel my emotions running away, I want to run away, run out of those double doors. But I don't move, I am fixed to my chair so I start a one-way conversation with God in my head, telling Him its OK, I can handle what ever the answer is, whatever they have found inside my body, it's going to be fine. The nurse interrupts my little conversation as she calls my name.

I am placed in a separate waiting room since I am now in what I have been told is the "diagnostic phase," or to put it more bluntly do I or do I not have cancer and if I do how bad is it. I tried to wrap the grown they gave me to wear around myself like a shield, or a suit of amour.

So my life has come down to this, this small moment in time that will determine my path. It is so strange how I can't really seem to carry a thought through. I am not thinking about my family or my friends, it's almost like my mind is frozen in this moment of time, I feel an uneasiness, but I would really call it fear; its just completely out of my control and for a person like me with all my To Do Lists, I can't do number three before I have accomplished number one. I have just jumped to number one hundred and that number was not on my list.

The answer or the outcome is not as important as what I will do with that information. Will I be crushed in spirit because my body is afflicted? No, I haven't been well in many years; I should be use to this. Am I pressed beyond measure? No, I am still alive and only God knows when I shall die, no one else can determine that, not even a Doctor. Even if I am struck down, I will not be destroyed. I don't always understand why these things happened but I must not fall into despair. Regardless of what is in my body I carry the life and light of Jesus. As long as I live I will be delivered over to death for the sake of Jesus, so His Life can be manifested in me, in my mortal body.

Persecution can come in many forms, but the only thing I really know as I sit here in the 6th Floor Waiting Room to take another test that may very well tell me I have cancer; I am not forsaken because God will not disappoint me He will never, ever leave me.

What ever we go through God is there with us; He is going through it with us. He sees all of our despair; He counts each tear.

So I close my eyes for a few minutes and I think about God, His Angels keeping charge over me and I can see in my mind being completely enveloped within the wings of an Angel sent just for me. Everything here on this earth at this time is temporary, as my body is because very soon those who believe in God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are going Home to be with them forever. So there is truly nothing here than hurt me.

I breathe out a deep sigh of relief and the knowledge of His love and peace washes over me like warm water, clean and pure. The nurse knocks on the doors and calls my name. I get up and start down the hall after her. She asks me, "How are you doing today?" and I smile and say, "I am doing well, because God is so Good."

I have been writing all my life, I just didn't realize it until I was my late 40's. I hope my experiences can help others who have gone through similar trials.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

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