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The 180

by Kenneth James Bag-ao  
5/28/2012 / Testimonies

the 180
A long walk.
A ride.
An accident.
Commitments.
Struggles.
Worship.
Fellowship.
Prayers.
Realizations.
And the 180.
They made up the whole week of me last week. The walk with my family and friends made me realize of many things and to realize that i am not in control of this life i have. Being with the people you know are not self-centered and life being surrendered is really a different one. The feeling is never the same as what it is in our house with people living in this temporal world. The family i have here in Iligan reveals that how you live today is the product of the decisions you made. I was made up of my decisions that may make or break myself. This life is not a game. The real thing is, that this life is a temporary assignment given by God to His children. In that sense, we must always be ready in responding to the call. And the previous week was indeed an awakening to a person who thought of quitting to the task being given to him. A person who ask "do I really deserve?." A person who thought he was able to manage things well. A person who thought that life is a matter of winning things that will last and ignoring the other. I want to name that person myself. A selfish me. A stubborn son. An irresponsible student. A good-for-nothing person. That is what I thought of myself the moment I came back to Iligan. But in the past week, God reminded me of the commitment I made when I surrendered this life to Him. He revealed to me how precious I was, that he never cared of what I did but rather what I do. He reminds me of the surrender He did that I might also surrender to His will. He thought me in His Word that He will never give up on me and that He will pursue me. Too much revelation He made through good and bad happenings in the previous week that gave me too much meditation on His Word and on what He want me to do.
The walk and the ride were great. I was with different people this week and that the experience was very fulfilling. I went to different places in Iligan and even explored new ones. But Centennial Park was the place of the circle. We always want to be there this past month whenever we'll have a holiday. And the latest was tragic. An accident happened to one of our friend, a board mate, who happened to be with us for the first time. That incident made me think of death. A physical one. It really came to me as a warning that life here in this world is never sure. What you are doing now may be unsure to what will happen to you later. I was very afraid and ask God what His will is. And He said I should be strong and be very courageous. Carl was fine now. He got stiches in his wounds in his left hand and left foot.
I decided to commit myself to an accountability partners last week for the reason that I am in need of people that will warn me, rebuke me, and have an influence in my life that will last for a lifetime. I know this is not an easy decision that I have to pray for this people before I approach them. Thank God, they accept me as their partner. That means that they will have all the right to tell me the things I should know about them, as well as I do. That commitment was great.
And one thing that tested my faith that week was the struggles I bore. God really tested me in many ways that I almost slip. It really turned me upside down, made my decisions unsure, and took my mornings to great questions, even sleepless nights. Different trials. Tough temptations. And horrible actions I made to myself that really put me on my knees and plead God for help. It was never easy. I want to stop this and be free from all of these. But the Word of God is telling me to finish the race, to fought a good fight, to keep the faith that He may work in my life and that victory may become true above all those sufferings.
The worship last Sunday and the fellowship was a great one. The church really encouraged me not to quit but to push through any hindrances that bound me and my Creator. Bunch of realizations came to me that I have to share it to my partners. I was so blessed of the testimonies they gave and the encouragements they shared. Great Sabbath, I told myself.
But the very Word of God which came to me over and over again was the 180. I named it 180 myself because the word is really strong and hard to define. 180 refer to repentance. God wants me to surrender all of me to Him. He calls me for a turn a 180 turn from my selfish "me" to Him. I came to realize that what happened to me was never far from what had happened to Jonah, David, Jacob, and Peter the Apostle. Their lives comforted me and gave me the reason that I must not contain anything in me that glorifies me. I just need to empty myself that God may freely work in my life. And I'm happy to tell you that I did it for His glory. I am here with you leaving nothing because I already gave up everything to Him. May this testimony touch your heart and encourage you to surrender your all to Him. You just need to be steadfast in running the race, in fighting the fight, in keeping the faith.

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