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Speaking The Truth in Love - Mean What You Say and Don't Say It Mean
by Karla Downing
3/22/2012 / Relationships
Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Speaking the truth with tact is hard for all of us. Difficult relationships make it even harder because the emotions and stakes are high which makes people even more reactive. The tendency is to say things you don't mean and say them in a mean way.
What are some of the ways we do this? We threaten and say things we don't mean and then we don't follow through. We say things in a mean way and then retract them afterword by apologizing and backing down. Proverbs 20:25 says, "It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows" (NIV). Speaking when your emotions are out of control, speaking when you are arguing with someone who is angry or intoxicated, speaking to someone who doesn't want to hear what you have to say, and speaking to someone who is incapable of understanding what you have to say is setting yourself up to be caught in a trap.
How can you insure that you will mean what you say and won't say it mean? By speaking when your emotions are calm, your mind is clear, your interaction is with someone who can and wants to participate, and your interaction is cooperative and mutual instead of argumentative. Idle threats are counter-productive. A threat is only productive when you say it clearly and follow-through. We train people to not listen to us by making false threats. Speaking to people meanly gives them a reason to attack you and not take what you say to heart. They can ignore what you say by focusing on your method of delivery. The only way to improve the chance they will hear you and take you seriously is to speak the truth in love by doing the following: Mean what you say and don't say it mean.
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Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
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