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Don't Date Naked - A Healthy View on Intimacy

by Ronali dela Cruz  
5/02/2010 / Dating

We live in a time when sexual purity among men and women has become a thing of the past. Today's culture is putting more and more pressure on individuals to hook up and do "whatever feels good at the moment," regardless of the consequences. Popular television shows and glossy magazines portray the lives of attractive, upscale celebrities who engage in risky sexual behavior.

In their extremely informative and insightful book "Boundaries in Dating," psychiatrists Henry Cloud and John Townsend pointed out that to be a whole person means every single aspect--spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and relational--of that person is integrated and functioning. When a man or woman chooses to act out sexually while still on the low-commitment, getting-to-know-you stage of casual dating, the entire relational process is cut short.

It's a sad fact that a lot of people have been shortchanged by escalating the physical level of their dating relationships too quickly, finding out later on in marriage that their partner is incapable of a true relationship. They found out that lust, not love, was driving the pace.

Intimacy while dating doesn't mean sharing each other's bodies. Effective dating is a meeting of the minds, thoughts, feelings, dreams, and goals of emotionally mature individuals who are prayerfully considering marriage. When you give 100 percent of your body to a person who's not yours (meaning he's not committed to you in marriage), you have overstepped your sexual boundaries.

When a person makes the decision to commit himself to sexual purity while dating, he is showing proof that he is fulfilled in his relationship with the Lord. He is allowing God to work on his character, and self-control is one of the fruits of being spiritually connected. Delaying sexual gratification means that he is also willing to make the necessary sacrifices required later on in marriage.

If you're in a dating relationship right now and you're being pushed by your date into premature sexual intimacy, ask yourself, "If he can't show respect for me now, what makes me think that he'll be considerate about my feelings in the future?"

God designed the sexual act, but He was also wise enough to command us to keep it within the boundaries of marriage.

I am a freelance writer conceptualizing different types of feature articles for the print and Internet market.

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