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Liberating Forgiving

by Marijo Phelps  
11/05/2009 / Health

There are few things in life that cause as much stress as unforgiveness.

Think about it for a minute, obsessing over what they did to you and how could they really do that and WHY did they do that. We have all been wronged by someone at some time. It might have been our parents or siblings, someone we thought was our best friend, a spouse, co-worker or teacher. It might have been a misunderstanding taken to a new level. It might have been cruel. It might even have been me getting all fired up about something that was really nothing to begin with but when I got through with it.. or it might have been life changing and totally crushing or even physically damaging.

The bottom line is that my unforgiveness hurts mostly me. The adrenalin and emotions spent on maintaining unforgiveness doesn't just focus on that issue it is a chemical that interacts with your whole body system. The bitterness can kill and it probably will have little effect on the person who is the focus of that bitterness.

There is an incredible (in my opinion) psychology and mental health book which has answers to many of lifes stressors. There really is a great freedom in being able to forgive. There is a release. Why give that person even more power (ongoing) over you by hanging on and holding on to the offence by unforgiveness? It can lead to even more undesirable consequences within you; depression, bitterness and bring dragged down again by the person and action over and over.

When you forgive, by an act of your will, you quit being judge and jury and release them to the one who can really move in the whole situation, God. He can also free you of all the negative things that go along with the event and unforgiveness. He is the healer and can really liberate you. This isn't just something I am writing about I have walked this road a number of times. I have also done enough psych nursing with a mental health emphasis to know this makes good sense from that standpoint too.

Another strong motivation for me to forgive is that by being unforgiving I know I am breaking Gods heart. He commands us to forgive. The good news is that He will not command us to do anything that He will not enable us to do.

I have even found myself praying: Lord, I am angry and hurt and not ready to forgive so and so. I know you say that we are to forgive help me to want to forgive so and so. Help me to have the desire to do what you have asked.

Again, it is not because we feel like forgiving, many times we do not. It is by an act of our will that we choose to forgive, an act of obedience, and oh, the liberty, relief and release. I have noted that sometimes there are stages in forgiving. We forgive and then pretty soon something else comes up. We have a choice to release that or grab unto the unforgiveness again. RELEASE IT.

Ephesians 4:30-32 (New International Version)

30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Romans 3:13-19 (New International Version)

"Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.
The poison of vipers is on their lips.
Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.
Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know.
There is no fear of God before their eyes.

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.(NIV)

Luke 6:37
[ Judging Others ] "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.(NIV)

Forgiveness like electricity is either working in your life or not. It is not that God is vindictive but if the electricity is turned off in a house it is not working. If forgiveness is turned off in a life it isn't working (horizontally between you and others or vertically between God and you).

Luke 17:3-5 (New International Version)

So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

John 20:23
If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." (NIV)

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.(NIV)

The Lords Prayer

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.(NIV)

Luke 6:37
[ Judging Others ] "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.(NIV)

Romans 2:1-3 (New International Version)

God's Righteous Judgment

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment?

Forgiveness is:

*Act of your will

*Giving the situation over to God

*Releasing that person to God for Him to work in their life and heart

Forgiveness is not:

*Not warm fuzzy" feelings

*Not trusting that person automatically a person earns trust

*Not becoming that persons friend, although that may happen

Forgive even if they haven't asked and even if they reject the notion you are free and have done your part.

Sometimes you go to the person and ask them to forgive you for holding feelings of bitterness or anger. Sometimes the whole forgiveness issue is settled between you and God regarding the other person, period.

The freedom and release is incredible try applying this and see if some major stress isn't lifted off your shoulders.

My blog is: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com/

(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.

About Self

Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news

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