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MY GIFT OF ASSURANCE
by Teresa Altman Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Mark 10:14 (KJV) I grew up during the 1960's on a farm in rural West Tennessee. There were very few children nearby and none that were my age. I had become somewhat a 'Tomboy' and loved playing alone in the woods, the barn, and the fields. I loved nature. I remember from a very early age I had continuous conversations with God. I think I have always been aware of Him. My parents were faithful to raise their children in church. Whenever there was any type service at all, we were there. Being the youngest of three children, my mother would often require that I tag along with my older siblings wherever they went. To many of their friends I was affectionately referred to as 'Baby Sister'. They never really ever paid much attention to me. But I always paid attention to them. At eight years old, I was advanced into my ten year old sister's Sunday School Class. I remember it was not long after I began her class, the teacher would occasionally take extra time after class to talk to my sister about salvation. Although her intent was to talk to my sister, I was listening too. At home after the service, I would get a bible and look up what our Sunday school teacher had told my sister. A few weeks passed and one day the teacher and my sister told my parents that she was ready to be saved and was going 'down front' during the next service. I wasn't sure what going 'down front' really meant, but I knew I wanted Jesus to save me too. I had listened very carefully to the teacher. I knew that I was a sinner and that Jesus died in my place so I could live forever with God. That was what I wanted... to live with God. For as long as I could remember He had been my best friend. I was ready to be saved too. But I never told anyone because they had not been talking to me. I was always just there...tagging along. The next Sunday service was on my ninth birthday. During the benediction, my sister stepped out into the aisle and walked 'down front'. I followed closely behind her. As we stood at the altar, I could see from their expressions that many people disapproved. But our pastor was very loving. He sat beside me on the front pew, placed his arm around my shoulders, and asked why I came down front. "Because I want Jesus to save me too," I said. My sister and I were baptized that night. I was so happy because I knew that I would now get to live with my best friend, God. For most people this would be the end to a happy salvation story...but not for me. During the next few weeks I overheard adults making comments that I was too young to know what I was doing. My Sunday school teacher would often make comments to my mother that I had only walked down the aisle because my sister did. It wasn't long before I began to doubt that I was actually saved. After all, they were the grownups. They are supposed to know. I remember many occasions afterward, I would lie in the pasture, look up at the clouds through my tears and ask God, "Why didn't I get saved too? What do I have to do?" I wanted so desperately to be saved but I had been convinced it didn't work for me. The next ten years of my life was spent trying to obtain salvation. I once more walked the aisle at the age of twelve and yet again at nineteen. It was while attending Technical School that I became very good friends with my teacher and his wife. He was also a preacher and they held bible studies in their home on week nights. I began attending their 'home group' studies and very quickly learned just how much they loved Christ. One night after the bible study, I stayed and told them my story and of the recurring doubts I had of salvation. They spent that evening talking and praying with me. After several hours of praying, crying and laughing, I was aware of a sweet and calm assurance. I had, at last, received confirmation in my spirit that I had been saved at nine years old. The Lord then led my teacher to ask me if I would be baptized again. "But I was baptized at nine years old", I said. He nodded and said that although I was saved at nine, baptism could seal the assurance for me. He asked me to think about it and if I changed my mind, he would be baptizing the next day in a local lake. Lying in bed that night, my thoughts raced. I finally had assurance I had been saved the day I followed my sister down the aisle. Although I didn't understand why, I knew in my heart God wanted me to be baptized. As I closed my eyes to sleep that night, I agreed. I will be baptized again. Standing waist deep in lake water the next day, I listened as my teacher spoke the names of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Peace fell over me as he lowered me into the water. But when he raised me up and the cool water rushed over my face, I heard a strange voice. It was a voice I had never heard before, but yet it was familiar. I could hear other voices, calling out, "Holy, Holy, Holy; Great is His name". But the familiar voice was speaking in a language I had never heard. Then, as I opened my eyes, I saw that the voice I heard was mine. Instantly, I understood. God, my best friend, never wants me to doubt my salvation. It was sealed by baptism when I was nine years old. In the thirty plus years since that day on the water bank, I have never again spoken in tongues. It is not my gift. But God knew that when Satan tried to plant doubt in my heart again, I would be able to look back on that miraculous moment in the lake and declare my assurance. Since that day, nothing anyone has said or ever will say, can take away my assurance that I will live with my friend, and Heavenly Father, for eternity. Teresa Altman, http://www.faithwriters.com/websites/my_website.php?id=28787 , an engineer for 25 years, answered God's call to write in 2007. A mother of two and grandmother of six, she lives in Northwest Tennessee. @2007 by Teresa Altman Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |