Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] - Matthew 11:28, AMPC

Although "taking care of Number One" is really a carnal concept, and can be used as an excuse for selfishness and more, you must allow and practice godly self-care, so you can not only serve others, but enjoy your life on earth! 

God loves all people, and just like any good parent, He is particularly caring for His own children (which we become when we truly repent of our sins, and ask God's Son, the LORD Jesus Christ, the only true Savior, to forgive and cleanse us from all wrong by His blood shed on the cross over 2,000 years ago, and to come into our lives and be our Savior and LORD! John 3:16

9 So then, there is still awaiting a full and complete Sabbath-rest reserved for the [true] people of God; 10 For he who has once entered [God’s] rest also has ceased from [the weariness and pain] of human labors, just as God rested from those labors peculiarly His own. 11 Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall or perish by the same kind of unbelief and disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell]. - Hebrews 4:9-11, AMPC

When we are responsible for others, whether it's family; or students; or people we oversee at a workplace; in ministry; or whatever, we ladies, especially, can have a tendency to try to do everything--but we can't. 

When we take on too much, especially to make things easier on others (which is a wonderful trait, but which can easily be taken advantage of by others, not that they realize they are doing that, most of the time), we can become run down physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually--and that doesn't help anyone.

The devil comes to wear out the saints--those who are born again true Believers in Christ Jesus as Savior and LORD (Daniel 7:25). His goal is always destruction.

However, our loving Father God, (Elohim) Who created us and gives us every breath; Who keeps everything going, for He upholds the world by the Word of His power (Hebrews 1:3), sent His Son, Jesus (the only true Savior of the world; the only Way to Heaven!), to give us a wonderful life on earth--the Zoe life of God (John 10:10)! Hallelujah!

Yes, when we are weak, He is strong. We can quote that Scripture all day, and it does help, for the Word always is working when we proclaim it (Isaiah 55:10-12). 

God also gives us wisdom to rest these bodies and souls (minds, wills, emotions). As I've been discovering these past few months, as I am living with my very crippled, disabled, elderly, widowed mother and navigating all the medical junk she has to put up with just to exist every day, I have to speak up for myself when I need help.

That includes declaring when I need rest, especially extra sleep (after being awakened in the middle of the night  several times, several nights, to monitor and/or assist Mom in simply going to the bathroom, as she hobbles with her diseased and twisted feet to the bathroom, and, when he strength gave out and she couldn't even do that, to push and pull--and ask for needed physical help from another--to get her positioned on the portable potty right next to her bed. 

I have had to learn the hard way--after almost burning out!--that Hospice has not only aides that are to help change Mom's diapers/pull ups, and give her baths (I'm not doing that, even though I've been scolded by Mom and other nurses about that. There is a line and I love her, and consider myself her live-in housekeeper and cook, and attendant to a point, but I am not a nurse, never will be, and have no desire to be. That is not my calling, and I know it. :) ), but also sit and talk with her, do light housework--and whatever I ask them to, pretty much. 

I've had to learn to ask. YOU need to learn to ask for what you need, for often, those around you have no clue of what you need, and can only think of themselves, not that they are trying to be uncaring. They simply have no idea of the stress you may be experiencing, and you don't want your body and/or mind to break down before they do!

My mom is a very caring person, and does appreciate what I do for her, although she certainly has been challenged in showing it sometimes.

The LORD has had to help me remember that I'm not experiencing the many afflctions she is, but still, when it comes down to it, that is NOT my problem, and I can only help her so much. I've had to realize I've still been trying, after decades to "please my mother," which is impossible, really, and unreasonable! God tells us in the Word not to try to please people. Yes Sir, I'm finally getting it!

Not to mention the fact that, besides this being worse than having a baby in some ways--like putting up with her being angry, stubborn, and forgetful and confused, cursing, etc.--I've had to do a lot of "nursing" stuff that I never desired, and never signed up for.

I do love her, of course, or I certainly would not have put myself through this! We say, "I love you" often, and some days, we've both had to be reminded! 

Love is not a feeling, by the way. It is an act! God is Love (I John 4:8), and thank Him, He acted in ultimate and eternal Love, by sacrificing His perfect Son, Jesus, on the cross in the most horrible death, to pay for the sins of us all, so we can be born again and saved from this putrid, violent, ugly world, and have eternal life in Heaven, and even days of Heaven on earth (Deut. 11)! Hallelujah!

He will send from heaven and save me; He rebukes the one who tramples upon me. Selah God will send His favor and His truth. - Psalm 57:3, NASB

I have to help myself remember to take a breath, go to the bathroom and take a shower (once I get her positioned in her chair) and thus get a moment or two of peace, or just decide to allow myself to write for a few minutes or lie on the bed for a bit just to chill, while being able to hear her from the living room.  

I have to remind myself that I know that I know that the LORD instructed my husband and myself to do this. My husband prays for me and her, and is wonderful to help when he's here. There are also aides for a very few hours a week, and a nurse a couple times a week (through Hospice). 

Still, it is only and forever the LORD Jesus Who is with me always, through the night, through the mess, through the frustration--especially because she really has no faith to believe for healing by the Word, but has been so dependent on docs and meds for decades, and will not even agree to take supplements or probiotics or anything that might possibly help her, unless a doctor commands it.

We have good moments, but they've been more scarce than the negatives. Thank the LORD He's been building my faith all these years, so I could be strong enough to handle this.

She would definitely be in a nursing home, and have to move out of the house that she and Dad built over 50 years ago, if we had not moved in. Of course, the LORD is using this to strengthen us, and has also worked some healing between Mom and me, who never have really had any kind of close relationship all these years. These trials and messes have, unfortunately, not increased our closeness. She doesn't want to be dependent on us, and that's understandable.

However, she has learned to be grateful more than resentful, and the LORD is making progress.  I have to ask Him to remember to remind me that she has not been in any kind of relationship with Him for at lest 40 years, although she says she is born again. I believe she is. She has loving ways, and has learned to be more thankful. She is generous and can be very sweet. 

The LORD has had to remind me, however, that, really, it's like I'm living with an unbeliever, overall. who has really no clue nor interest in how I believe (after years of God healing and delivering me from stuff, and teaching me His ways, which He will always be doing!).  She respects it somewhat, and I choose to believe that, when she dies (and daily, she is saying more often that "it won't be long now"), she will be in Heaven.

Praise the LORD that the only thing that gets us there is our true faith in what Jesus Christ did for us all, by shedding His blood on the cross over 2,000 years ago at Calvary, to forgive and cleanse us of our sins!  If our Salvation came by works, I'd never make Heaven!

Here are a few things that can help you in very difficult times:

(1) remember that God created you and loves you, and totally sees, knows, and understands everything you have and are experiencing. It may not seem so, but He will never let you go through more than you can bear, and He is with you always.  He's got your back. Really--or you'd not be on earth anymore!

He is your Go-to Person for comfort, peace, grace, strength, and joy (When I lose my joy, I know something is very wrong, for I am (after years of overcoming negativity!) a very joyful person--usually so much so that I have been irritating to my mom and even other committed Christians! (Ironic, isn't it?! Whatever! If others choose to be "hangdog", then that is their problem, and only God can fix it! I know so, because I WAS depressed, discouraged, frustrated, negative (hangdog!) for years, till the LORD kept teaching me and delivered me!). 

(2) Literally stop and take a deep breath, and get in the sunshine--even if you only have time to sit on your bed and let it shine on you  through the window, which has been my experience too often the past few weeks. But we are made to have daily light. Exercise if at all possible, for some is better than none! Even housework is exercise! 

(3) Take a hot bath if possible, or at least a hot shower. The heat will relax you, and if you're like me, you can burst into songs of thanksgiving to the LORD, and know that, in the bathroom at least, your voice is perfect, and Daddy God loves it!

(4) Yes, EAT! Eat, drink water (more than caffeine; at least the same amount!) and take vitamins, and frankly, although you want to eat healthy, when you're under duress (stress, pressure), it is more important that you EAT, even some junk, mixed with healthier stuff, as much as possible, than you be concerned with calories and fat! 

(5) Grab naps anywhere and time you can! Sleep is so important, and the enemy tries to steal sleep from us. Being sleep-deprived long enough can put you and those under your care in danger. By golly, if you have to lie down on the floor with your kids, or doze in the chair with your elderly one, do it! A few minutes of just letting your body relax can help a lot. I've even sat in a parking lot with locked doors, and napped a bit in the seat. Even five minutes helps!

(6) Laugh! I have found situations funny with Mom and others, that they didn't. But at that moment, their glares and stares didn't bother me--it was a release my body and brain needed! Put on funny music and or shows ("funny" is relative. There's a lot of tacky junk out there that others call "funny", but it's really just carnal mess. However, the LORD will lead you to humor that is clean, to help you refresh your soul and get a physical release.), and laugh. You can even laugh on purpose (which I'm doing right now, as I write this). It's called "gelontology," and I learned that from a Christian health coach.

(7) The very best way to be refreshed, of course, is in the Presence of the LORD; singing praise and worship to Him at the top of your lungs (or at least singing softly, which I've had to do way too much of. However, it's still singing, and God loves it. He lives in our praise!); listening to Bible-based teaching and preaching at church and online; reading God's Word for yourself, and asking Him to reveal truth to you; praying (just talking to God, for He knows already every thought you'll ever thing, every word you'll ever say, but He wants to communicate with you in a wonderful, close relationship that is more sublime and divine than any on earth!); and gathering with other Bible-believing people.

It seems to be a double whammy when the usual daily pressures of life are increased with the holiday season. It can be hard to be "in the Christmas spirit," like I've noticed about myself this year. However, the best thing to remember is that God knew every detail of your life before the world began, and He is NOT MAD at you. He loves you, and totally understands! He loves you, and Jesus is praying for you. He is there with you (if you truly believe in Him), as Immanuel: God with us. 

He will never leave you! Hallelujah! 

You can pray, as I do daily, that He will fill you with Himself, and help you yield to His Grace and Gentleness. When I forget that, He quickly helps me repent to Him, and to Mom if needed. However, it is best when I yield to Him first, and don't have to repent!

He wants you and your loved ones and all people to know that He values us. The LORD wants you to take care of yourself, for, as much as you love to help and give to others, you must (at times, anyway!) put yourself first, so you can be there to have relationship with Him, and then to help others. 

We want to always show love and joy and peace and be perfect in our words and dealings with others, and that is harder if we are worn out, or even close to it.  We can only do the hard things (or anything!) with the help of Christ Jesus. 

He is ready and willing to help us. When we remember to ask for His help, and the help of others, He will help us know we're not being weak to ask for what we need. He tells us to do that, in the Bible, and He is happy to supply our needs. It may seem like something different than what we want or think we need, but He will always help us. 

We can ask Him to open our eyes to see and realize His wonderful help, which comes in many different ways. 

He will help you take care of yourself, as He has been teaching me. He will never not be there for us! Hallelujah!

⁵ Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] - Hebrews 13:5, AMPC

You can do this (as I've had to tell myself often the past few months, especially), and this situation is only temporary. As the LORD whispered to me a few days ago, these momentary light afflictions are working for us a much greater glory. 

17 For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.- 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, NASB

I pray for you peace that passes all understanding; irrepressible joy, given to you the upright in heart; wisdom from above, for every situation; grace upon your lips, and that your mouth would be a fountain of life; endless energy and boundless strength in doing His will, and Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28--for the LORD works all things, even what the enemy causes, together for your best and His glory, because you are His. 

You can do this: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST! YOU AND THOSE YOU HELP ARE WORTH IT! 

Through books, courses, presentations, service, prayer, worship, and more, Tonja and her husband live to exalt God. Her series for girls, P.O.W.E.R. GIRL ADVENTURES, is now out (books I-V), along with LEGACY; YOUR HOLY HEALTH: VISIONS OF THE KING, and more. See the "River Rain Creative" YT channel.