Isaiah 41:10, AMPC:  Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. [Acts 18:10.]

This is the verse that I sent to my dear husband this morning by text--to thank him, and to give him a good laugh. 

We laugh often together; we have a great marriage (We've known each other for 18 years, and have been married for 16. It took about 15 years to have a great marriage, but it's been so worth it! GOD IS FAITHFUL!). 

I've also learned, of course, to get rid of the performance pressure thing and remember that, no matter what, my husband has been anointed and appointed by God to be my covenant partner on the earth.

Besides that, he's proved many times that he loves me--messy hair, PJs, and all.

Today, I had just started an early-morning class (I tutor online, for three classes in two public schools in the region), and rose a little later than usual. As I was waking, I prepared my breakfast, put on a little mascara, and finished up laundry from the day before. 

I made sure the classroom was open and the materials prepared.

We had a good class (The 45 minutes flies by, because the LORD is faithful to give me good students, and strategies to keep the students engaged.)

"Ignorance is bliss," said one wise person, years ago. 

I agree, overall. Again--and I'll say this all my days and beyond!--God said it first! ("Do not fear..." and "Be not conformed to this world..." and "Set your mind on things above..." and more!)

So, I finished the class. It went very well. Then I went to the bathroom.

Whoops! Who was that pasty-white woman in the mirror? True, this was a different bathroom, and the lights were quite a bit brighter than in the bathroom where I apply makeup (Note to self: (a) Apply makeup in the brighter bathroom, or (b) At least double-check the face before telling MDM (My Darling Man, my covenant Ephesians 3:20 (and now, Isaiah 41:10!) husband goodbye. 

So, remembering MDM's wonderful loving hugs and kisses and loving gaze at my (whatever) face this morning (because he loves ME and not just my appearance or body, praise the LORD!), I started laughing, as I thought of the Scripture about "being hardened to difficulties." 

The LORD has such a great sense of humor, for it is the sweet, all-knowing Holy Spirit Who brings God's Word to our minds. 

So I texted the verse to MDM, and was laughing while I did it. God's Grace is amazing! 

I sent him some of the adorable little "snuggle bear" animated emojis and such, too. He really likes those.

Being able to trust the true love of my husband (and even more, the perfect love of my Father, Jesus the King, and the sweet Holy Spirit) is a rest, and the LORD tells us to "labor to enter into His rest." (Part of that is being delivered of the fear of man, which means being afraid of being judged and rejected by people, and which is never from God, for the LORD loves everyone the same, and is no respected of persons!

And Peter opened his mouth and said: Most certainly and thoroughly I now perceive and understand that God shows no partiality and is no respecter of persons,--Acts 10:34

Most of all, MDM has recognized that he and I are one, so (although it's been a process for us both to realize this, and, after 16 years of marriage, we are finally getting it!) he knows that, when he accepts and loves me, he accepts and loves me, the gift God sent, and he is showing more love and respect for God. MDM has also learned that, when he accepts and loves me, he accepts and loves himself, for we are one in this Covenant marriage.

So, the LORD has helped me to loosen up, to relax, and remember that, as He told me over a decade ago, when I was sitting in an office, wishing I looked different, that "all flesh is as grass."  He helps me remember that the real us is a spirit, and we have a soul (mind, will, emotions), and we live in a body.

Our bodies are like a house; the real us lives in them.  A pastor has compared a body to a car; we need to take care of it, so it will last a long time, and take us where we need to go, to get the will of God done!

Another thing is that, as Proverbs 31 (which, I was greatly relieved to learn, is a composite of women! Hallelujah, thank You, Jesus, for letting me know that!) says in verse 

So, may all of these things help you keep your perspective, and relax in God’s faithful love.

If your husband is still making progress in these things, trust the LORD, and pray for Him to help your spouse rise to a new level. God is always working, and may He refresh you and help you to love your husband more deeply, and find new ways to honor and bless him.

One of the ways the LORD helped me in this is to, when we pray at night together before we go to sleep, say out loud that I’m thankful for my husband, and have much respect and love and honor and appreciation for him. Just saying those words—especially “respect” and “appreciation” have been used by the LORD to bring deeper devotion in my husband to this marriage and me!

There is more to it, of course, but our words and attitude are powerful, and when we bless our marriages, it can only help things!

Of course, putting on makeup and staying in shape help, too!

If you’re having darts and your husband is not acting like you think he should, talk to God about it, then trust Him to work. Meanwhile, speak these words to yourself:

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!—Proverbs 31:30, AMPC

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain (not lasting), but a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised. 

A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.--Proverbs 31:10, AMPC

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!—Proverbs 31:25, AMPC

I’ve done this and more through the years, and also just started being more thankful to my husband, even for the little things. That will also make a good difference in your most precious relationship after the one with Jesus!

I find specific things to thank him for—including serving God, tithing, sowing his time and offerings; reading the Bible daily, and, as I’ve told him for years (which is more true now that it was, cause God’s been using my words to work on his heart!, “Thank you for loving and living the Word!”

Even being thankful for your spouse’s grace to love you when your mascara is down to your knees, and you’re not dressed up, will help.

Try it. No matter how good your marriage is, these things can only help!

Through books, courses, presentations, service, prayer, worship, and more, Tonja and her husband live to exalt God. Her series for girls, P.O.W.E.R. GIRL ADVENTURES, is now out (books I-V), along with LEGACY; YOUR HOLY HEALTH: VISIONS OF THE KING, and more. See the "River Rain Creative" YT channel.