Counting Answered Prayers at My Dad's Death Bed

Oct 2, 2019

My father went home to Jesus this morning, after all of his last prayers are answered. These were my prayers as well.

Marriage.  My parents had a very difficult marriage of over 50 year.  Because of us being Chinese and the way they were raised, they would not get divorced.  They knew each other to be a good person but their personalities did not match well as husband and wife.  There were other complications and challenges - communication gap, love language gap, cultural age gap, socio-economic gap and expectation gap.  My father had hoped for my mother to treat him lovingly, tenderly and kindly.  But my mother was not made that way. (I'm much like her so I understand some of those idiosyncrasies).  But in the last few days, when my dad was bed ridden but still consciously aware, my mother served him with sincerity, love, and humbleness exceeding all of our expectations.  She held his hand, which she hadn't done in several decades.  She sat with him quietly, rubbed his back and tried to interpret him when he would no longer speak.  She checked on him every 2 hours.  She answered him immediately when he called.  She waited on him.  She bathed him.  She talked to him.  She never once complained to him or complained about him.  She never once lost her patience with him.  She never yelled at him which had been a daily occurrence during most of their married life.  And she cried for him over his suffering, a miracle for a woman who never wants to cry in front of others.  His last words to her were "thank you" and towards the end, he would only respond to her voice. 

Pain and Suffering.  When he was first diagnosed, he remembered how one of my maternal aunts had died a painful death nearly 50 years ago from the same cancer.  And he said he didn't want that.  Later in the treatment, he told me that what scared him the most was the pain in the end.  He didn't want to be in so much pain that even morphine could not relieve it.  He instructed me to not give him morphine until it was absolutely necessary at the end and he always persisted to not take any pain medication if he could withstand it.  On that last Friday, he made himself breakfast, did the dishes and then couldn't stand anymore.  As he lay in bed, he only experienced pain twice - one time at level 4 and one time at level 8, both related to his fall.  We gave him 1/2 of the recommended dosage of morphine for relief - twice.  Then after a pain free 48 hours, he slipped away peacefully in his sleep.  Almost exactly seven days after his fall.

After His "Parents".  My father was orphaned at seven.  His eldest sister who was older by nearly 20 years raised him.  My father thought of his sister (my aunt/adoptive mother) and her husband (my uncle/adoptive father) like parents.  My father was diagnosed with cancer in September 2017.  The thing that they all feared the most was Jesus calling my father home before taking my uncle and aunt.  Because he served them better than a son would - he would visit them twice a week, to bring them food, to bring them entertainment, to fix things broken around the house, to bring them love. He was their most reliable and trusted emotional and familial support.  My uncle went to our heavenly estate in December 2017.  My aunt earlier this year.  And now, just 10 months later, my father.

Baptism.  My father knew the Lord since he was a young boy.  But all these years, he didn't understand why he had to be baptised and didn't think it was necessary.  In 2018, I had an off handed conversation with him during a car ride.  I hadn't intended to convince him, I merely voiced my opinion that if we believed in Jesus and loved him because he loved us, and all he asked us to do was not to conquer the world but be baptised...isn't a simple thing to just obey?  Although my father credited me, I knew it to be the Holy Spirit.  At 79 years old, he was baptized.

Glory.  More than just all the prayers here on Earth fulfilled...God our heavenly father has now brought my father into the glorious forever.  The biggest prayer answered. In this lifetime and the eternal one. 

I've written to ease my pain; I've written to hear my voice; I've written for vanity; I've written for sanity; I've written for fun; I've written for laughs; I've written for me; I've written for money. But until I write for God, this talent is for naught.