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Grounded by Dreams of Flying
by Colby Joyner It was tunnel vision. Then I remembered I was standing in a bathroom stall. It was tunnel vision. If the time that encompasses our life was our tunnel, does that light at the end of it represent more than just freedom physically and spiritually, but also from time? There has to be a reason why we're this crazy and I eat so much peanut butter. There's more than being a typical atypical. One of the biggest reasons we need Christ is because we're so ridiculously bad at expressing any sort of caring for one another that doesn't incite thoughts about hidden agendas and the hope for some future something. While I'm mildly sleep deprived, I'm a different person. I would trade every compliment I will ever receive in this earthly world for a few more friends that I know will be constant. It would be so easy to be ignorant and happy. It would be so so easy. But, a part of me wants me to take the insurmountable block of knowledge and chew on it until I'm done with everything here. It is supposed to be harder to be content while learning to know how much you don't know. I'm determined to change that. Contentedness is what happens when everything slows to a stop and your left with nothing but your ideas and God to listen. Why do I eat this much peanut butter? I can't escape it. I can't escape how time, location, and a lack of Jif will ultimately break me away from the people here, not to be reunited until this note is no longer relevant. We just can't break away from the point that if we don't wake up within walking distance that we all will be torn. You can keep it all together, it just takes far more. It takes a pausing from to remember those other significances, mine being friends that I can't put in my trunk to pull out when back in Wilmington. This is perhaps one of my biggest tests of faith. Really, without it how can you be content with the people around you? They'd be completely different 20 minutes away, much less a few states. Until I learn how to write a smile with words and capture ten minutes of real body warmths found near each other, most of these words will just be another exercise to ruin your eyesight. So, I welcome the chance to ruin distance. I welcome days that I can break down feet into mere measurements that never had any weight on our personalities. I shouldn't mourn over lost seconds as much as I do over lost moments, lost feet over lost dances and runs and walks and lacks of movement and strange, quirky things that give everyone reason to think that we have to brains at all. Everybody is a little afraid. There's a reason they don't print up stickers for Grade B beef, we only wear our resumes in accordance with our excellencies. Forget about that back sweat in the humid air that has no bearing on you. I've seen people afraid to live because of it. Your clothes have never had to match and makeup only needs to be worn by people with above average eyesightlet's assume that we're nearsighted for a bit. Fuzziness for the sake of apparent perfection never worked. That's why I can't sit back with ignorance being my bliss. That's why I don't mind trying to find the focus, because it's best to change the root than trick the fruit. So, it's not easy, but let go, I'm trying to every time I talk to you. I'm just wanting to destroy some meters and find what's past all my prior measurements of distance, so that I can let go of all my measurements of you. Colby Joyner is a full-time student at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington; he is currently studying Spanish. He thoroughly enjoys getting feedback or comments on his works and can be reached at [email protected] Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |