All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the Lord weighs the motives. Proverbs 16:2 NASB)

We can feel pretty good about the things that we do, but we often do not understand why we do what we do.  It is possible to give with your hand but not your heart.

In my job, we often share the workload.  When one person is down in their caseload, others are often asked to share their cases to keep that person working.  Recently, I was asked and gave away several of my cases.  I did not really want to lose them, but for the good of the project, I knew this is what I should do.  Not long afterward, I had some medical bills and other extra financial expenses, which wiped out all of the funds I had put away for a rainy day.  At the same time, the bottom dropped out of my caseload. There were some extra cases possibly available for me to work.  In the end, someone else got the cases.

I started feeling a little sorry for myself.  I felt like I had given up my cases and now when I had a need, there was nothing for me. I started thinking that if I had not given up my cases, I might not find myself in this dilemma.  I was in a downward spiral.  Then in my daily reading, the verse above in Proverbs hit me right between the eyes.

God was weighing my motives, and I had been tested and found wanting.  What I had given with my hand, I had started to take back in my heart.  Purity of motive may only come when we first have the humility to admit that we do not have it.

I worked for seventeen years as a missionary with Youth With A Mission.  My missionary work has taken me to Mexico, Canada, Chile, Argentina, Bolivia, Spain, and Ukraine.  I hold a Masters of Education in curriculum and instruction from Virginia Commonwealth University.  [email protected]