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How to Find the Right Life Partner
by Segun Olumide Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations in this volume are from the King James Version of the Bible. KEYS TO OTHER BIBLE VERSIONS: AMP - The Amplified Bible NIV - New International Version TLB - The Living Bible Gideons - The Gideons International RSV - Revised Standard Version NCV - New Century Version Copyright 2012 New Apostolic Movement All rights reserved. The New Apostolic Movement, E-mail: [email protected] [email protected] +234 8161297781; +234 - 8053053578; + 234 7085951514. TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION 1. WHAT IS MARRIAGE? 2. PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE 3. HINDRANCES TO MARRIAGE 4. HOW TO KNOW AND DO GOD'S WILL IN MARRIAGE INTRODUCTION Bill Hamon, as a young man met a lady by the name of Evelyn, whom he loved and wanted to marry. He confirmed it by every possible way. Then 13th August, 1955 was picked as the wedding date. Still he felt he needed to be very sure beyond any shadow of doubt that she was God's perfect will for him because he understood that a wife could make or break a man, and make his life heaven on earth or hell on earth! Before then, while in Bible college, he had been engaged to a preacher's daughter, but it became clear that she wasn't God's perfect will for him. As a result, he broke up the relationship with the preacher's daughter. So to be very sure that Evelyn was heaven's choice for him, he fasted for 9 days in preparation for a conference where he expected to receive a prophecy that would tell him clearly whom to marry. Despite all his effort to receive "THUS SAITH THE LORD," those prophesying at the conference did not give him any personal prophecy! Eventually, the major speaker at that conference preached a powerful message that brought peace and assurance to Bill's heart about marrying Evelyn! It all came through the preaching of God's Word, and not through prophecy, vision or angelic voice. Thank God the Scripture is a more sure word of prophecy as it is written, "We have also A MORE SURE WORD OF PROPHECY" (2Pet 1:19). They've been joyfully married for decades now. Today, the same Bill Hamon has become a world renowned prophet. So from his great wealth of experience, both personal and that gathered from ministering to people over the years, he wrote that marriage "is one area where prophecy should be a confirmation and not a revelation. Of course, God will not always give a confirmation through the means we desire, but He will give us the peace, assurance, and faith we need to know that it is His will, and to make a successful marriage." I encourage you to read his book: "Prophets and Personal Prophecy." Now let's consider 4 different aspects of marriage for singles. CHAPTER ONE WHAT IS MARRIAGE? The Scripture says, "For this reason A MAN WILL LEAVE his father and mother AND BE UNITED TO HIS WIFE, and THEY WILL BECOME ONE FLESH" (Gen 2:24, NIV). Marriage is the union of a man and a woman with two identical, similar, compatible, agreeable or intertwinable destinies as one. CHAPTER TWO PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE viii. PARTNERSHIP 'The LORD God said, "IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE. I WILL MAKE A HELPER SUITABLE FOR HIM" ' (Gen 2:18, NIV). ix. PROCREATION (Child bearing) "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, BE FRUITFUL, AND MULTIPLY, and replenish the earth" (Gen 1:28). x. PLEASURE Solomon wrote, "ENJOY LIFE WITH YOUR WIFE, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun − all your meaningless days" (Eccl 9:9, NIV). xi. PURITY Paul warned, "But BECAUSE OF TEMPTATION TO IMPURITY AND TO AVOID IMMORALITY, let each [man] have his own wife and let each [woman] have her own husband" (1Cor 7:2, AMP). xii. FULFILLMENT OF GOD'S PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE "And THE LORD GOD TOOK THE MAN AND PUT HIM IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN TO TEND AND GUARD AND KEEP IT Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that man should be alone [without a partner in carrying out his divine assignment, I believe]; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him" (Gen 2:15, 18, AMP). xiii. PRESTIGE (Honour) The Scripture says, "Let MARRIAGE be held in HONOR (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (KEPT UNDISHONORED) Who can find a virtuous woman?...Her husband is RESPECTED at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land Strength and HONOUR are her clothing" (Heb 13:4, AMP, Pro 31:10, KJV, 23, NIV, 25, KJV). xiv. TO MAKE US PRODUCTS OF GOD'S SCHOOL OF LOVE AND HUMILITY Paul wrote, "Wives, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:22-23, 25, NIV). CHAPTER THREE HINDRANCES TO MARRIAGE xi. WRONG TEACHINGS THAT FORBIDS PEOPLE TO MARRY (1 Tim 4:1-3) xii. EVIL SPIRIT OF AFFLICTION (Mat 13:25, 28) To the best of my memory, there was the story of a mother who took her daughter's name to a witch doctor [babalawo] or so in order to prevent her from getting married so that she would not leave or abandon her [the mother], especially in old age. You see, sometimes a curse may need to be broken or a demon dealt with before someone can be set free to get married. xiii. FINANCIAL AND MATERIAL CHALLENGES (Eccl 10:19) xiv. SPIRITUAL OR BIOLOGICAL FAMILY ISSUES xv. SETTING UNSCRIPTURAL STANDARDS FOR ONESELF xvi. COHABITATION (living together, though, not rightly married to each other) xvii. HAVING A PHYSICAL OR MENTAL CHALLENGE OR DEFECT xviii. INABILITY TO DISCERN GOD'S WILL IN MARRIAGE (Is 5:13) xix. PREJUDICE [poisoned mind of hatred] AGAINST PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, OF ANOTHER TRIBE, RACE, AND SO ON (Acts 10:11-15, 34-35, NIV, Eph 2:13-18) xx. WRONG IMITATION OF TRUE CELIBATES (those who have vowed never to marry as well as to have even legitimate sex) OR EUNUCHS (those whose testicles have been removed, so that they cannot produce sperm, hence cannot make a woman pregnant) (1Cor 7:7, 1 Tim 5:11-12, NIV, Mat 19:10-12). xxi. NEGLIGENCE OR ABUSE OF YOUR OWN BODY OR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE xxii. PROCRASTINATION CHAPTER FOUR HOW TO KNOW AND DO GOD'S WILL IN MARRIAGE It is very important to know and do God's will in marriage otherwise, one may regret for the rest of one's life. I will never forget as long as I live the pathetic story Rev Kay told us some years ago when he came on a visit to Nigeria from the USA. He was engaged to a sister on campus while they were both university students here in Nigeria. But because of the challenges he was going through, she decided to break up the relationship. it took the young man God's grace to bear the pains. Eventually, he got married to someone else. But ten years later, he was to preach in a church meeting somewhere in Chicago. So this same lady heard his name advertised as a guest minister and she attended the meeting. Amazingly, God gave Rev Kay a word of knowledge for someone present in the meeting. Lo and behold, in response to that prophetic message, this lady came forwards. In fact, the man of God was rather surprised to see her. Nevertheless, he ministered to her. After the meeting, however, he continued speaking with her to the extent that the pastor who invited him wondered if they knew each other somewhere. Anyway, she acknowledged that she knew him in Nigeria. The worst part of the story is that she fell into a wrong hand: she married a man that made her life miserable. She seemed to know that God had wanted her to marry this Reverend, but he had underrated him. She told Rev Kay, "If only I had known that this is how things will turn out, I would have stayed with you [in those days]..." This man just kept consoling and encouraging her. The following are important for singles to know and do God's will in marriage: ix. CONVICTION (not presumption) Solomon wrote, "The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly" (Pro 20:27). That means God guides or directs us primarily through our human spirit. He gives us a conviction, impression, urge, knowing or prompting in our spirit about His will for us. Conviction is the mother of commitment. When I wanted to be sure of whom to marry, I took out about three days to seek God. During those three days, I studied God's word, prayed in an unknown tongue and listened to my human spirit. I must have taken some time to praise God as well. The Scripture says, "For one who speaks in an [unknown] tongue speaks not to men but to God, for no one understands or catches his meaning, because in the [Holy] Spirit he utters secret truths and hidden things [not obvious to the understanding]." (1Cor 14:2, AMP). As a result, I had a knowing, conviction or clarity in my heart about whom to marry. It was a wonderful experience. It was confirmed by a dream I had somehow along the line. So I didn't base my decision solely on dreams. And I have had a fulfilling marriage for going to seven years now, despite challenges. Glory to God! As already explained in the introduction, Bill Hamon, as a young man met a lady by the name of Evelyn, whom he loved and wanted to marry. He confirmed it by every possible way. Then 13th August, 1955 was picked as the wedding date. Still he felt he needed to be very sure beyond any shadow of doubt that she was God's perfect will for him because he understood that a wife could make or break a man, and make his life heaven on earth or hell on earth! Before then, while in Bible college, he had been engaged to a preacher's daughter, but it became clear that she wasn't God's perfect will for him. As a result, he broke up the relationship with the preacher's daughter. So to be very sure that Evelyn was heaven's choice for him, he fasted for 9 days in preparation for a conference where he expected to receive a prophecy that would tell him clearly whom to marry. Despite all his effort to receive "THUS SAITH THE LORD," those prophesying at the conference did not give him any personal prophecy! Eventually, the major speaker at that conference preached a powerful message that brought peace and assurance to Bill's heart about marrying Evelyn! It all came through the preaching of God's Word, and not through prophecy, vision or angelic voice. Thank God the Scripture is a more sure word of prophecy as it is written, "We have also A MORE SURE WORD OF PROPHECY" (2Pet 1:19). They've been joyfully married for decades now. Today, the same Bill Hamon has become a world renowned prophet. So from his great wealth of experience, both personal and that gathered from ministering to people over the years, he wrote that marriage "is one area where prophecy should be a confirmation and not a revelation. Of course, God will not always give a confirmation through the means we desire, but He will give us the peace, assurance, and faith we need to know that it is His will, and to make a successful marriage." Three basic signs of this conviction are: (a) LOVE (not liking) Gal 5:22 (b) JOY (not happiness) Gal 5:22, Is 55:12 (c) PEACE (not goose pimples) Gal 5:22,Is 55:12, Ps 34:14, Col 3:15, AMP x. CONFIRMATION This can come through dreams, prophecies, visions, and so on (Acts 2:17). There was a dear brother and friend of mine who was about to wed. The date had already been fixed. So preparations were in top gear. Suddenly, I had a dream. I saw my beloved brother enter a church auditorium with many oranges on his chest. He tried to distribute it to the people therein, but none of them collected any from him. In the second part of that dream, I saw myself begging some young people not to marry the wrong person. Then in the third part of it, I saw a creature swimming. She was half-woman and half-fish. She came out of the water and picked up a basket containing some things she had bought in the market so that she could prepare food for her husband. Then I woke up! I interceded fervently for him never to be married to that same lady whom he was already engaged to. I received a serious spiritual attack that same day. Others prayed as well. He prayed, too and took a wise decision. Eventually, the wedding never took place. Today, he is married to someone else. Thanks be to God for his mercy! xi. CONSENT (of parents) [Eph 6:1-3] xii. COMMITMENT (not double dating) [Eccl 9:10] Conviction is the mother of commitment while commitment is the fuel of courtship. xiii. COURTSHIP (not cohabitation) Be subjective to divine guidance through inner conviction, but objective to it through courtship. You see, courtship is not an avenue for sexual experiments, but God's way of exploring the land before possessing it! After the LORD had assured the Israelites that he was giving them the promised land (Canaan), then in Numbers 13:1 (NIV), 'The LORD said to Moses, "Send some men to EXPLORE the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites" ' DO'S OF CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP Prepare for wedding and marriage through the Bible, good Scripturally sound books, good pastoral counsel, good parental advice, prayer and fasting, intimate friendship towards each other, godly married couples, proper marriage seminars meant for singles, and so on. DON'TS OF CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP [1TIM 4:5] 13. Don't be too financially or materially demanding (Eph 5:15-17). 14. Don't dress sexily (1Thess 5:22). 15. Avoid kissing, hugging, caressing, sexual intercourse, using dildo on each other, dressing or undressing in each other's presence (1Thess 5:22). Some people have misinterpreted 1 Corinthians 7:36 as a licence for pre-marital sex. It reads, "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need to require, let him do what he will, HE SINNETH NOT: LET THEM MARRY." It is better understood by reading it in the Living Bible: "But if anyone feels he ought to marry because he has trouble controlling his passions, it is all right, IT IS NOT A SIN; LET HIM MARRY." The New Living Translation also makes it clear: "But if a man thinks that he's treating his fiance improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, LET HIM MARRY HER AS HE WISHES. IT IS NOT A SIN." God was only encouraging a man who can't control his sex drive to marry, not to have pre-marital sex. 16. Don't stay together alone behind closed doors or in the dark (Eph 5:15-17). 17. Don't prolong your courtship unnecessarily because you want to gather enough money for an extravagant wedding and expensive apartment that you can't afford (1Thes 5:22). 18. Don't be in courtship with somebody for a wrong reason. Note: wrong reasons include: MONEY, ATTRACTIVENESS, ACHIEVEMENT, LITERACY [EDUCATION], FAME, PROFESSION, GOOD BEHAVIOUR, PITY, COMPENSATION, GUILT, FEAR, FLUENCY, SPIRITUALITY, IDIOSYNCRASY [PERSONAL MANNERISM], and so on. RIGHT REASON: LOVE, JOY AND PEACE (Ro 14:17, Gal 5:22, Is 55:12). 19. Don't read, watch, talk about or share pornographies or sexually immoral materials together (1Thess 5:22). 20. Don't address, treat or introduce your fianc(e) as your husband or wife; but rather as your husband-to-be or wife-to-be (Pro 23:7). 21. Don't cohabit because of sickness, lack of accommodation, short or long visit, infatuation, and so on (Ro 2:1). Note: even if your fianc(e) visits you and have to unavoidably stay overnight, don't sleep in the same room alone or on the same bed. Seek a wise alternative preferably outside your house. 22. Don't allow your courtship to kill your fellowship with other saints and your pure interaction with sinners or friends (Heb 10:25, Pro 18:24, KJV). 23. Don't disrespect and despise your fianc(e) verbally or non-verbally (1Pet 2:17, NIV). 24. Don't be afraid to share your past, present and future with your fianc(e) as led by God advisably gradually in stages, not all at once (1Jn 4:18). xiv. CEREMONY (introduction, engagement, wedding and reception) The wedding is a one-day ceremony while marriage is a lifetime commitment. Some have good weddings but bad marriages. I believe it is good to have a good wedding and a good marriage. Fools focus all their money, efforts and time on their weddings in order to keep up with the Joneses, with little or no money, efforts time on their marriages! xv. CONSUMMATION (sex = blood covenant) [1Cor 6:16-18] xvi. COMPLEMENTING (not competition) The Scripture says, "Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that man should be alone; I will make him A HELPER MEET (suitable, adapted, COMPLEMENTARY) for him" (Gen 2: 18, AMP). You see, God intends the wife to make up for what is lacking in her husband, and the husband's strengths to compensate for his wife's weaknesses so that both can form a balanced team. SINNER'S CONFESSION If you are not yet born-again, say this: I choose to repent today. Also I choose to believe that Jesus died for my sins and rose up for my justification. The Scripture says, "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Rom 10:9). Therefore, I believe in Jesus in my heart and confess Him as my Lord. Now I am born-again (Amen). SAY THIS ALOUD TO RECEIVE THE HOLY SPIRIT Also Jesus said, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses" (Acts 1:8). And on the day of Pentecost "All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance" (Acts 2:4). Therefore, I receive the Holy Spirit by faith right now and I begin to speak in an unknown tongue (unlearned tongue) as He gives me the utterance. I command every foul spirit [spirit of fear, spirit of unbelief, spirit of doubt, religious spirit, unforgiving spirit] wanting to hinder me to stop in its evil operation in my life in Jesus' name. Thank you God for filling me with your Spirit in Jesus' name (Amen). Books By The Same Author How to Interpret Dreams and Visions Why Marriages Break How To Find The Right Life Partner Secrets of Financial and Material Prosperity How to Receive Your Divine Healing Unfolding the Fivefold Ministry The Ministry of an Apostle The Ministry of a Prophet The Ministry of an Evangelist The Ministry of a Pastor The Ministry of a Teacher Passion for the Lost Understanding the Call of God Basic Bible Course How to Receive the Holy Spirit Fulfilling Your Divine Destiny Day of Reckoning: God's Formula for Eternal Rewards Identifying Counterfeit Ministries Sanctification: Changing from Inside Out O Suffering, Why Really Me? Intimacy with God The Pastor's Wife Why Some Churches Won't Grow! Just Before You Start A Church How to Prepare and Deliver Sermons Finding Your Own Ministry False Doctrines Exposed! SPECIAL! SPECIAL! SPECIAL! A MUST READING/VIEW (Google the following free of charge on the Internet and God will change your life forever.) 1. "Holiness Required For Heaven by Carillo from Bolivia" 2. "Eternal Destinations: Godly Attire and Adornment" 3. "Another Warning by Kingsley Ubani" 4. "Time Is Over : Run For Your Life by Kingsley Ubani" 5. "9 Testimonies on Tithing from Heaven and Hell Visions" 6. "The Dangers of Eating God's Tithes and Offerings" 7. "The Visitation of Jesus to Samuel Oghenetega" (Crosscheck these testimonies with the Scriptures and if you have questions you may send us an email.) About the Author Segun Olumide and his wife, Tosin are founding ministers in the New Apostolic Movement and the Glorious Family Church International both in Lagos, Nigeria. He has a divine mandate to align the Church with God's purpose. In a vision, the Lord showed him a Bible opened to the Acts of the Apostles with the words "APOSTOLIC CALL" on one of the pages. They reach out through School Of Ministry, School Of Life (Pre-Bible School), NAM Bible School and Healing School. His apostolic teachings have blessed the Body of Christ across the nation. Connect with me online If God has blessed you through this book, please send me an e-mail to share your testimony, inspiration or reading experience, mail to: [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/olumide.olusegun.5 All rights reserved. Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |