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The other woman
by I normally see red lights flashing when a person mentions the other woman. It makes me uncomfortable. Something about the statement insinuates brokenness, sadness or loss - a dangerous conversation I do not like to get involved in. It is a sensitive topic, yet I hear women talk about " the other woman" all the time. They mention her often. Even though it's done "hush hush," without mentioning a name, you often sense her presence in the room. "The other woman" is disguised in the words and thoughts of who we would like to be. Most of us dream about a thinner, smarter, more desirable version of ourselves, a woman we have created in our minds after looking in the mirror through the lenses of media or even the lives and accomplishments of our friends. Time and again I hear women utter these phrases without even thinking: " O....so and so just bought a new house, they are so rich - I wish I could buy a new house ".....or "she completed her studies and I don't even have a degree, she is so clever, I wish I could be like that." Some sulk at weddings envying the bride and drowning their singleness sorrows in champagne and others feel repulsive after meeting a swan princess at a random work function. One or two even breath a sigh of relief when they hear about a fellow sister struggling in her faith - thanking God that they are not like the other woman. Have you ever walked into a church meeting and thought to yourself: " Wow, Susan looks beautiful....maybe I should buy the same make-up?" Or why did John choose her as his wife, she looks so ordinary? Or did you hear a woman preach and thought - why can't I preach like her? I will be the first to acknowledge guilt. Often times I struggle to except the reality of who I am. Even though it starts a cycle of criticism in my life, I often struggle to get rid of discontentment thoughts flashing red in my mind, leaving me powerless against the force of negativity that tries to steal my peace in Christ. The other woman has been a topic of controversy from the beginning of time. Eve could not compete, and decided to give in to the devaluing thoughts that the snake so eagerly dished up for her on a fruit platter. She just couldn't believe that she was good enough. Since the garden of Eden Satan has used his deception and lies to make women feel less than they ought to be, and the way he does it is very effective. The other woman has become the measuring stick by which we judge everything we do and everything we are - and if we don't live up to these impossible standards of perfection, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we start a new diet, enrol for a new course or go for a make-over - anything to help us feel less uncomfortable next to the other woman. We can never just feel GOOD about ourselves, because there's always something wrong or out of place. No matter how much we achieve, there is always room for improvement. Dear woman of God, when did we start believing we are not good enough? Men celebrate us, yet I still meet married women who can't receive love because they have stretch marks and would rather like to keep the light switched off. There are photos of women everywhere, billboards and advertisements - even the world is captivated by us - yet we still lack confidence. When did we start discerning women according to the flesh and not the spirit? When did our friends become the other woman? As women of faith we should not allow our thoughts to be infiltrated with the filth of comparison and idealism. We are not called to think of ourselves as victims, but victorious and righteous in Christ. We are saved to reign over the spirit of comparison and not be distracted by the devil's devices to cause disunity in the church. Our focus should be to pray, bless, embrace and love ourselves and our friends. We are empowered to not let the other woman steal our intimacy with Jesus. Discontentment does not come from the Father, but from the enemy who is trying to rob us of our identity in Christ. Through Jesus we are no longer under the curse of Eve, where we can't help but to eat the fruit of deception. We don't have to continuously feel as we have to become wiser or more beautiful, and we don't have to allow the snake to entice us with the same lie he imprisoned Eve with: Did God really say.....you are good enough? This lie is the first of many, and not welcome in a household of faith. God redeemed us from wanting and longing. He satisfies our mouth with good things, and He covers us with His love and acceptance. Nothing can separate us from His love - not even the other woman. Lets trample on the snake - crush his head, and live in the victory, love and acceptance of Jesus Christ, with no other woman dictating our thought life and no other agenda except to love ourselves and others. Ps 139:13-18 (Amp) For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery]. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them. How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. Notes to the Editor (Scripture and the phrase "the other woman" should be in italics.) Laetitia is a writer, wife, business woman and teacher, exploring truths about the gospel through real-life experiences, always pointing to the goodness and grace of God. Her passion is to help others be crowned with the wisdom of God's glory, especially women. http://www.awomanofwisdom.blogspot.com Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |