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You, Your Child, and a Life of Crime: One Thing Leads to Another
by Catherine High If you are struggling with depression, and you are a mother of a child with ADHD, it is a potentially disastrous mix. The way that you respond to the ADHD behavior could contribute to your child's development of conduct problems and could possibly even lead to a life of crime. ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is a complex set of chronic conditions characterized by impulsive behavior, and inability to pay attention, and hyperactivity. In addition to the core symptoms, ADHD sometimes leads to difficulty with relationships and low self-esteem. There are about 2 million children in the United States with ADHD, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. What does your depression have to do with your child becoming a career criminal? A new study from the University of Maryland has found that conduct problems in ADHD children can sometimes be traced back to their mother's depression. (The study focused on mothers' mental health, since they are the ones more often with their child.) Furthermore, other research has already shown that children with ADHD plus conduct problems have the greatest potential to adopt a lifestyle of chronic criminal behavior. So the question becomes, how do you raise your child with ADHD in a way that reduces their behavior problems or keeps them from escalating? ADHD children are hard enough to handle without complications. But there often develops a vicious cycle in which the ADHD behavior creates increasingly harsh responses or even a withdrawal response from parents. This type of parenting leads to escalated misbehavior from the child, which in turn leads to further frayed parental nerves, and the cycle continues until steps are taken to intervene. Being a Christian Mom will sometimes complicate the matter; we have a tendency to put our own needs last and the needs of our children and husband first. If we are battling a depression at the same time we're battling our kids' ADHD, our attepts at parenting can quickly and easily become overwhelming. This new study shows that positive parenting techniques might help break the cycle. Positive Parenting Techniques Rather than harshness and withdrawal, if a mother can fight through her depression and respond in a positive way, she decreases the likelihood that her ADHD child will develop behavior problems. This means less acting out at home, at school, in public. It might also mean avoiding a lifetime of criminal behavior and possibly even jail. When we consider the consequences of responding negatively versus responding positively, it's worth the effort because of the tremendous payoff. The study suggests several responses to ADHD behavior that will actually contribute to more positive behavior from the ADHD child: --positive praise, --rewards for good behavior, and --maintaining a warm tone of voice. These are all responses that can be practiced and cultivated to be used pro-actively to reduce misbehavior from your ADHD child. What About Your Own Problem? If you have an ADHD child, and you are fighting a depression, it is a volatile combination for which your child, in the end, will pay a high price. But don't feel guilty about it. Previous studies have shown that mothers of ADHD kids are twice as likely to experience depression as moms of non-ADHD kids. So you're not alone, and it doesn't mean you're a bad parent or a bad person. Seeking treatment for your depression is necessary to help the situation. Therapy, with or without medication, is one solution; alternatively, talk to a best friend or a partner or your pastor. Ask friends and family to give you breaks from your child when it gets overwhelming. Use those breaks to care for yourself, pamper yourself. When the bad behavior starts, try taking deep breaths, or try counting to ten before responding. Whatever it takes to keep yourself calm and less stressed will help you respond in a positive way, and possibly help your child avoid a lifetime of harsh difficulties. Catherine High is a full-time writer who enjoys writing Christian non-fiction and devotionals. She creates custom crossword puzzles to order, and she writes articles for online publication. She is currently working on her fourth novel. Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |