A light shone dimly through the motel curtains, and landed softly on the bed. Dana saw the light, but her soul felt like it was in darkness. Monkey light.  It was unbelievable that she had let herself go this far.  There seemed no way out of this hell that she'd dived into.

The path she had followed in the last six months astounded her. Never in this lifetime could she have ever seen herself like this, one night on a park bench and the next night in a motel room with a dealer.

Her recent life seemed like one long search for pain pills, she'd somehow gotten addicted to them. She now traded the pills for the Heroin she now desperately needed. She’d exchanged one addiction for another. She'd lost her way and found a hell whose flames wrapped around her; pulling her back down every time she attempted escape.

She'd lost her children too. Her sweet little darlings were gone. The visits they had were less frequent, now that she'd traded one monkey for another. This monkey that she carried with her now wanted her all. It fed on her need for the next high, her need to fill the void that was once her soul.

Dana wanted more than just a high. She wanted to be free from this shackle around her heart, and the people who only wanted her for her pills. She wanted to kill the very monkey that she held every night; to feed him to the flames that constantly caressed her ankles.

She dragged her bottom slowly off of the side of the bed. She had no need to look back at the thief who stole her night and her dignity from her. There were better things to do today than sleep until the next high. She had a mission to accomplish. Today she had hope.

It was a long walk to the church on the other side of town. The sun shone down from behind her, guiding her way along the sidewalk. It was a little later in the morning than she had planned.  Still, she would be on time. 

She thought of the couple who had found her on their church steps yesterday. She had been lying unconscious.

He was loud and joyful with a light that shone from his eyes. She was quiet with a smile that tickled a person's heart. They’d invited her inside for a hot cup of "God's brew". She’d accepted and then she didn't know why she had. But she’d felt better as she warmed up with the hot coffee in her hand. Her eyes felt "at home" enough to begin to close. The couple had embraced her and made her feel at home; and then they had invited her back.

"Come back tomorrow, we have a meeting here every week. We mean to give you a 'home away from home' that you can come back to." The woman "Patsy" had said. And then, "We'd love to have you in our family. Why Pastor Jerry here leads the meetings. He used to have a problem with alcohol you see, and now wishes to help others".

Pastor Jerry had ducked his head and whispered "Honey, it's the Lord that helps the brothers and sisters that come here. I just follow his direction."

Today they treated her really nice again.  Then when she was ready to go home, Patsy sent a bag of food "To hold you over". The hug that she got from Patsy told her many things. "We love you, and want you to come back, we can help you". She didn't want to leave that hug. The warmth from it was a little piece of Heaven. It was not one of those fake pathetic hugs that you get from most “Do gooders”. It was a real squish. As she was walking out the door Pastor Jerry pressed a card into her hand that she stuffed unread into her right front pocket.

As Dana headed back from the meeting at the church, her heart and soul were bursting with hope. Hope that this 'Jesus Christ', this god who came to die for her and others like her, could heal her drug problem. Could he throw this monkey back into the jungle where he belonged?

The sidewalk led back to the park beside the motel. In the park she could see "her" bench beside a little pond where ducks swam. Her feet went toward the bench from memory.  Her mind was on other things

Dana sat for a while contemplating the meeting she had attended.  She thought of the love that they had spoken of. She watched as the ducks played games in the water and giggled in high spirits at their antics. She watched them until the sunshine was a memory, and the shade enveloped her.

Soon the light from the street lamps began to come on, and then the fear began to build in her. Her fear rose as the lights grew brighter; the “Monkey Lights". These were the lights that drew drug dealers and users out to the streets, and invited addictions onto a person's back. Dana's monkey climbed back on when her dealer came around the tiny pond. "Hi" he said, and she was lost. He led her away with an imaginary chain and a collar around her neck, and she felt as though she were the monkey.

Dana gazed down the street in the direction of the church. She looked past the Monkey Lights. Searching for a bit of hope, she saw a spark which grew into a glow, a pure light. This reminded her that she had a savior.  She reached into her right front pocket and pulled out the card that Pastor Jerry had given her. Dana stopped in the middle of the street, underneath the monkey light, to read it. On the card she read, Light of our Savior, Baptist Church. Freedom from addiction! Pastor Jerry is presiding. Come back soon to our family, where the Lord Jesus Christ is your hope, and His love is your light!
      

Dana felt the chain drop from her neck, and the monkey climbed back down again. Her smile grew as her hope rose. There was a place where the light was true, not just a monkey light. She would soon be at the Light of our Savior, Baptist Church, surrounded by the true light, Jesus Christ. Goodbye Monkey Light!

Author Notes: The term "Monkey on your back" has been used for many years to describe an addiction problem. It is well known by addicts and those who love them that the monkey is never so agreeable when asked to get down off of a host's back. It is a struggle, often a life long struggle.

To those in my family who are so hurt by addiction.  There is hope and a stronger "Light" in Jesus Christ.

Dedicated to Pastor Scott Courbron who was our "Pastor Jerry"

A Woman who loves The Lord 
Copyright  2010 Dorene Lang
www.ipenforhim.com