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Keeper of the Safe Haven
by Lisa Schipansky I found myself in a very awkward situation this week, more so, my own safe haven had been breached, my morals questioned, and my faith thrown back in my face. Let me further exploit the situation just a little... I was very heartbroken when I shared a feeling, a situation, a circumstance, that to me, was different, with a person who I very much respect, and that feeling was passed along to an unintended third party. There was nothing more to that situation than a feeling and it needed to end right there. As I have become a young woman of God I have learned many hard lessons of what to say, what NOT to say, and when to say it, regardless of my level of commitment with someone. I have also learned that messages, emails, texts, and lack of verbal communication are the worst ways to communicate when you are feeling a certain way about something. As many of you read this, you will take my blog one way versus your neighbor down the street who will take it another way, that is life, and well, my answer for that is, so what. God didn't make us to walk around with manuals to pass out to everyone we encounter and he didn't create us to say "I apologize if this offended you" at the end of every conversation we engage in. He created us to learn how to grow and to respect people and to respect, love, and cherrish that they think, feel, love, and learn differently than we do, than anyone does. And we are to leave it at that. "And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself." James 3:6 I breached another woman's "safe haven", she thought I breached her "clique", her "homies", the people that she loves. When in reality, we as women just take everything over the top, to the extreme, and we want to right the wrong as soon as it has entered the doorway. And, as a consequence, sometimes our mama bear tendencies, our encouragement, love and explanation becomes way too much for the average woman's insecurity to bear. We do worse by our friend, by offerring information that we are just not quite sure what the other person meant, we try to keep it general, tender hearted, trying to see all sides of the corners at the table. Now this works, obviously, when you have the other person who can see all sides of the table with you, but sometimes that doesn't always happen, and you end up taking a severe lashing for, what boils down to, miscommunication. Bad days, sleepless nights, our own personal lives get in the way of trying to understand what someone was trying to communicate to us and we disregard it the second we hear something we don't like, we hear an unspoken truth, a negative has entered the picture, and we revert to... "that person is out to get us, to judge me" I am a young mother of a beautiful baby girl, another one on the way, happily married, and a fearful follower of my God in Heaven. I started sharing my writing with other young women to let them know they are not alone in the trials of life, love, marriage, family and their own walk with God. Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |