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My Losses to Premarital Sex
by Baruch Okpulor [email protected] www.lulu.com/spotlight/baruch Sex before marriage is a global controversial issue among the youngsters and adult singles. This is one great challenge that is consistently and rapidly destroying the moral and emotional domain of most singles, family and society. Its impact is much felt among the teens. Most young men has used it to trap some girls on the pretence of marriage because of the cultural belief that a lady is not fulfilled until she gets married to a man no matter her wealth and educational background. I just completed a book titled The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships that discusses in details pertinent issues on pre-marital sexual relationships. As an assistant coordinator of a youth empowerment organization and facilitator in workshops on issues affecting singles, I must confess that questions and misgivings filter in most on sex before marriage. I have done a little research on pre-marital sex issue on the degree of correlation between its benefits and demerits and found out that the effects are never palatable. My conclusion is informed by what I've seen others suffer (friends, colleagues, school mates) because of engaging in it. Most importantly is what happened to a friends sister which caused her, her life on January 2008. She hooked herself with a guy who pretended to love her and to marry her and before long they started dating which led to having sex and she decided to move in with him without any formal or informal marriage formalities even against the consent of her parents and siblings. Soon, she became pregnant, gave birth to a male child who took ill few months after delivery. Consequently, she was thrown out of school, lost her relationship with the family and God because she didnt want to see or hear anything from her siblings which may be against the guy she is crazy about. However, they continued to persuade and plead with her to come home which she did but the baby died after 10 months of birth. That was in November 2006. In 2007, she took ill and had to be taken to all the hospitals around but died on January 2008. Her journey to death started the day she met that guy and gave in to sex without marriage. I have seen girls give birth to children especially in the developing countries who they abandoned in the gutter, street corners, motherless babies homes, and to granny or aborted, and many of them thrown out of schools. This is a daily occurrence in my locality in the part of the world I live. The most painful part of it is that these children are left on their own and no wonder they turn to be street urchins and gangsters engaging in all sorts of crime -robbery, prostitution, theft, rape, street fighting, fraud, child labour, as to survive. No parental care and instruction. They attach little or no importance to human existence and value. Many become street hawkers. Its disheartening. One youngster contacted gonorrhea when he was 20 years old but was poorly treated. The sickness resurfaced 20 years after in which the entire body fluid was corrupted. He died in the process. Another youngster had sexual intercourse with a girl once and came out with STD. Unfortunately that was his first time at sex. Young people spend more time in petting, kissing, fondling of bodies, cuddling, which usually get them into trouble than in any viable activity. It is becoming culturally acceptable to see girls who have one or two kids out of wedlock while they drop out of school with no future for the kids. Most girls live with emotional, social, spiritual and physically permanent body damage as an effect of pre-marital sex. Many people live and would live the rest of their lives with guilt, regret and shame which time and change of location have refused to heal because they engaged in few minutes of illicit sex. The regret of giving in to premarital sex with a boy or girl which has left a scar on them-inability to conceive and have babies, living with sexually transmitted diseases, night mares of the past sexual acts, being uneducated, being rejected by family, friends and society, fear of the memories of the past recurring, etc. The best option is to zip up till you are married. The benefits then outweigh the momentary pleasure now. Recommended Books: The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships Stop Existing! Start Living! Leave your comments, questions and suggestions. Baruch Okpulor is a Priest of the Church and a talented and widely read Writer who writes and speaks on spirituality, self discovery and development, and issues affecting the family, and adult singles. He has seven books on these subjects www.lulu.com/spotlight/barock copyrightïBaruch Okpulor 2O1O Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |