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Rekindling the Flame in Your Marriage
by Greg Baker There are three things that are essential to the success of any relationship: 1. Love 2. Attraction 3. Trust For the purpose of this article, we will focus on the attraction part of a relationship. Attraction is where every relationship starts. It is often confused with love because it is much more of the warm, fuzzy emotion that people look for in their love relations. But attraction represents all the things that you like. Perhaps you like the way she walked, the way he looks, the way she introduced herself, the way he gives you security, the way her hair sweeps across her face, the way his eyes soften when he sees you, or whatever it may be. This attraction isn't love, but it is a powerful force and all relationships begin right here. They also have a nasty habit of ending right here. Too many marriages that I counsel have lost that attraction to one another. They no longer see what they once saw; they no longer retain the interest they once did. They don't feel attracted anymore. Unfortunately, this is very common. When you were first getting to know each other, you purposely looked for things that you had in common. You wanted to find things that pulled you together. You talked, you dreamed together, you discussed history, you explored each other's likes and dislikes, and you tried new things together. These things helped you stay attracted to each other. You put your best foot forward. But now you're married. Now you claim you don't have time for that nonsense anymore. Now you don't have time to talk, or explore each other's feelings. Now you find yourself attracted to someone else. Don't let that happen. You need to rekindle the flame of attraction in your marriage. To do this, you must revert back to when you were first getting to know each other. Here's a profound thought: whatever it was that first pulled you to each other will also be the same things that keep you together. Here are some ideas: 1. Have some sort of date each week. Spend time alone with your spouse. You used to find reasons and excuses to spend time together, do so again. 2. Do new things together. Find out if there are new things that you would like to do together. When you share common interests and then explore those interests together, you rekindle the attraction. 3. Talk. This is essential. When you first sought to get to know each other you talked. Now you struggle talking. You need to take time and talk. Learn to communicate. This is essential! 4. Keep an air of decorum and mystique about you. That was attractive when you first met, keep it so now that you are married. 5. Build or create something together and dedicate it to the other. When both of you have a vested interest in something that you both made and have given to the other, that will rebuild attraction. My wife recently wrote a song for me. She dedicated it to me, gave it to me so to speak, and I found that incredibly attractive. Keep the flame in your marriage alive. More at: http://articles.christianbaptists.com Or http://www.fitlyspoken.org for books on communication and social skills in relationships! Specifically, our books 'Fitly Spoken' and 'Restoring a Fallen Christian'. For editing and ghostwriting services: http://www.affordablechristianediting.com Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |